Recently, I stumbled across the cover of a 1967 Beetle Bailey comic book featuring Private Beetle Bailey in one of his many ongoing efforts to taunt, tease, and rattle Sergeant Orville Snorkel, this time as he attempts to play pool. Looking at Mort Walker’s snaggle-toothed military man set up his shot, it made me wonder how many other cartoon and animated characters played billiards. While the list below is far from comprehensive, it is my attempt to list the TOP 10 CARTOON (AND ANIMATED) CUE STICK CARRIERS. Let the countdown begin:
10. Pinocchio. Gepetto may be harboring some regrets now that the Blue Fairy has breathed some life into his wooden puppet Pinocchio. In the 1940 film Pinocchio, the path to becoming a real boy is littered with distractions, including playing pool with the delinquent Lampwick and taking deep drags on fat cigars. My advice: keep listening to your “conscience” Jiminy Cricket…except when it comes to shooting billiards. For that, better to listen to Lampwick. He’s quite the shark!
9. Pat & Mat. In the 1994 “Billiard” episode of the Czech stop-motion animated series Pat & Mat, the two handymen are determined to play a game destíkový carambol, which is Czech for “tenfold carom,” a variation of the carom billiards game four-ball. However, a faulty table leg dooms the game to one Rube Goldbergian solution after another, with balls eventually falling down the toilet and exploding in the fireplace.
8. Casper. It’s hard to believe the Friendly Ghost could hold a cue stick, never mind make three balls in the same shot, but apparently that’s what this affable phantasm is capable of, according to this 1958 comic book. The jury is still out whether being able to float through a table is a true advantage. He did scratch, after all.
7. Woody Woodpecker. The anthropomorphic avian with the annoying laugh is a long-time pool player, based on the 2002 “Cue the Pool Shark” episode of The New Woody Woodpecker Show. Facing off against his nemesis Buzz Buzzard, Woody manages to outplay the cheater with a series of gravity-defying trick shots.
6. Rainbow Fish. In the 2000 “Pool Shark” episode of Rainbow Fish, Chomper’s cousin Slick is visiting Neptune’s Bay, where he likes to hang at Wanda’s Café, which has a new pool table. The piscine pool player dazzles initially, causing Rainbow to swear his allegiance as a personal assistant and blow off his other friends. But, apparently his game is more cheating than skills, causing one to question the real upside of playing with flippers.
5. Captain America. DC and Marvel collide in the pool hall, as America’s #1 Freedom Fighter temporarily puts down his shield and picks up his cue stick. Unfortunately, he might have been a little too distracted by Rogue in her thigh-highs, as he ends up knocking over the Man of Steel’s drink. Major pool faux pas…but then judging by Cap’s stance and grip, billiards was never really his game.
4. Tom & Jerry. Viewers of Tom & Jerry will recall that these two animals can really brawl. In the 1950 episode “Cue Ball Cat,” the battle takes place in a pool hall. Over the course of seven minutes, Tom torments Jerry with a variety of billiards shots that leave him spinning, reeling, running, chalked, and even imprinted (temporarily, of course) with an 8-ball on the backside. Jerry, never one to back down from the big kitty, fights back, batting billiards balls into Tom’s eyes, shooting the bridge like an arrow into Tom’s mouth, and fooling Tom into swallowing seven balls.
3. Fred Flintstone. “Twinkletoes” may be well-known for his bowling and golf games, but the famous caveman of bedrock also had a real talent for pool, even with slightly crooked sticks and uneven billiards balls. Flintstone showed off his skills in the 1960 Flintstones episode, “At the Races,” as he and his BFF Barney Rubble hatch a get-rich-quick scheme that involves owning a pool hall.
2. Death Billiards. For real high-stakes billiards, check out the “death match” between the young and old man in the 2013 anime film Death Billiards. These two have been brought to a bar to compete in a game of billiards and to “play as if their lives depended on it.” While it’s unclear who actually wins the game, let’s just say one should never play pool with balls that are adorned with images of body parts.
1. Donald Duck. Even if his game is not great, Donald ultimately develops the best attitude about billiards, learning to appreciate the games for its mathematical beauty in the 1957 featurette Donald in Mathmagic Land. With the Spirit providing the educational commentary on the diamond system and an unidentified Roman Yanez providing the incredible three-cushion billiards visuals, this duck is well on his way to becoming a shark.
So, there’s my Top 10 list. Just don’t let that Wascally Wabbit know he didn’t make the cut. I hear once he puts down the carrot and picks up the cue stick, he’s quite the pro. See a character missing? Let me know who would be on your Top 10.
