The Waltons – “The Song”

In competitive billiards, the stakes can be quite high. Archie “The Greek” Karas was known to have played one opponent for $40,000 matches in a Las Vegas pool room, and one night lost $740,000 playing 9-ball.[1] Professional boxer Manny Pacquiao was known to stake-horse Filipino billiards sensation Dennis Orcollo for matches up to $60,000, earning Orcollo the nickname “the Philippines Money-Game King.”[2]

The WaltonsSimilarly, movies and television have witnessed their share of high-risk wagers, including the deed to one’s land (Legend of the Dragon), the Duke boys’ General Lee Dodge Charger (Dukes of Hazzard – “A Little Game of Pool”) and the right to live or die (Twilight Zone – “A Game of Pool”).

On The Waltons, the stakes may not have seemed so perilous in the 1975, third-season episode “The Song,” but remember that this television show centered on a rural Virginia community during the Great Depression. So, when family patriarch John Walton Sr. (Richard Waite) and Grandpa Zeb (Will Greer) join several of the other local men for a 4-day, no-money, winner-takes-all, Walton’s Mountain 8-Ball Tournament, the wagers are reflective of the era and the conditions of the backwoods community. Specifically, the Walton men put up a truckload of firewood between them; Horace (Wilfred Brimely in his career-launching role) offers “six fat hens, Rhode Island Reds, all laying double-yolk eggs”; Zach Roswell bets a 200-pound prize pig named Jews Harp; Easy bets his old .22 rifle; and tournament organizer Ike Godsey wagers a “one-week supply of groceries not to exceed $7” (about $125 of buying power today).

The WaltonsAdding to the gravity of the tournament is that the Walton’s Mountain women consider billiards so odious (“trashy goings-on,” “low doing,” a “gambling game”) that the men risk, at a minimum, their wives’ scorn and opprobrium, and in the case of Zach Roswell, risk their manhood and future, hiding and telling lies to escape his shrewish spouse’s wrath.

Unfortunately, while the billiards in “The Song” is novel in its stakes and familial hazard, it ultimately is too brief and too bland, with little tension forming around the tournament and a minimal amount of pool actually played. Grandpa Walton inserts a couple of polite jeers (“Zach, are you celebrating or mourning?”), and even attempts a behind-the-back shot, but otherwise the game is a McGuffin (and not a very good one).

Perhaps, of greater interest for television trivia wonks is that Erin Moran (aka Joanie Cunningham from Happy Days) has a starring role in “The Song” as one of the titular songbirds. Regrettably, she, too, does not shoot any pool.

“The Song” episode of The Waltons is available on the complete, third-season DVD collection.

[1] http://www.pokernews.com/news/2008/02/sextons-corner-32-archie-karas-part-2.htm

[2] http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/7879307/pool-dennis-orcollo-best-money-game-player-world-espn-magazine

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