Tag Archives: pool

Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire (Billiards Movie)

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A billiards movie that doesn’t tend to provoke much discussion among genre enthusiasts is Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire, a 1987 film from the UK that revolves around a snooker showdown between a cockney named Billy Kid and a seven-time world snooker champion who wears clip-on fangs and relaxes in a coffin named Maxwell Reardon, aka the Green Baize Vampire.  Given the two main protagonists are modeled on real-world legends Ray Reardon (whose nickname was “Dracula”) and Jimmy White, who battled it out in snooker championships in the early ’80s, it’s surprising few people talk up this film.

Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire - Billiards MovieOh, wait…did I mention this billiards movie is a musical?   For many, that may be just enough to make one put away their cue and call it a night.  But, before you do, consider:

  • If you ever enjoyed The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), this billiards movie is a clear tribute, from its overall sheer camp to the tune sung over the final match, which resembles Dr. Frank-N-Furter singing in his laboratory, with the chorus overlooking from the balcony.
  • It’s composed by George Fenton, a 5-time Oscar-nominated composer for movies like Gandhi and Dangerous Liaisons.
  • It features songs such as “Kid to Break” and “Snooker (So Much More Than Just a Game),” and includes the memorable line, “Heaven’s covered in green baize!”  (I mean, really, what pool player out there could hope for anything more?)

Is it a good movie?  Meh. The acting is pretty bad, the characters are two-dimensional, and the overall production quality is cheap.  But, this could be said about many a great cult movie.  As one reviewer wrote, “it certainly is a strange and heady brew that will either find its way to your heart or utterly alienate you.” So, grab something potable of choice, get comfortable, and decide for yourself.  Let me know.

Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire - Billiards MovieFor those interested in watching Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire, it is available via Amazon Video On Demand.

Stickmen: A Gem in the Billiards Movie Genre

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One of the first billiards movies I discovered, thanks to a great list compiled by Billiards Boys, is Stickmen, a 2001 pool hustling movie from New Zealand.  Among billiards movie enthusiasts, this is a well-known gem. But, I had never heard of it.

Stickmen - Billiards MoviesThe basic premise is that a trio of fun-loving, wisecracking pool-playing mates unwittingly get pulled into an underground 8-ball doubles pool tournament run by “Daddy,” a nefarious hook-handed crime boss, to raise money in order to prevent a friend’s bar from having to sell his bar.

It’s not the most original plot, but director Hamish Rothwell has great fun with the movie, dialing up the speed, antics, and fast-talk, and introducing us to a supporting cast of memorable pool-players, including Caller, a pierced, bare-chested, crazy; the Men in Black (a duo of priests), and some lovely ladies. Any Guy Ritchie fan (e.g., Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels) will appreciate the emulative, albeit less serious, cinematic style. But, fans of Doug Liman’s Go or Tom Tykwer’s Run Lola Run may equally savor the adrenaline-pumping, ticking time-bomb linear narrative.

Unfortunately, while it’s a highly enjoyable pool movie, the pool cinematography is downright disappointing.  The billiards-playing lacks authenticity, there is a disappointing paucity of difficult pool shots, and to my knowledge, there are no notable cameos from professional players (as there will be in future movies I review).

For those interested in watching Stickmen, it’s widely available to purchase on DVD.

My Love of Billiards Movies Started with an Olhausen Pool Table

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It all started with an Olhausen pool table in a newly-renovated basement.  My new table was elegant, gorgeous…and completely uninviting in an otherwise barren room.  The recently painted walls screamed out for company.  But what would be appropriate? I certainly didn’t want cheesy posters or random artwork that didn’t fit elsewhere in the house.

Then it hit me.  Movie posters.  And not just any movie poster, but posters of billiards movies. Movies like The Hustler, The Color of Money, Poolhall Junkies, and…what else? Were there, in fact, other pool movies? I couldn’t readily decorate my billiards shrine with posters of just three movies.

The Hustler - Billiards MoviesSo, I officially began my investigative journey to research, and ultimately watch (as well as collect posters of) every movie in the “pool/billiards movie” genre.  As of this posting, I’ve discovered 45 billiards movies, 13 billiards “film shorts” (less than 30 minutes), 2 billiards movies in production, and 19 billiards TV shows or episodes about billiards.  To date, I’ve watched 23 of the movies or shorts, and continue in my quest to watch as many of the list as possible.

In subsequent posts, I will introduce you to each of these movies, both critiquing them and sharing random tidbits of info on them.  One final note: The fact that many of them are not particularly good in no way detracts from the joy of the quest to watch them all and become a self-proclaimed world expert (!!) on the pool/billiards movies genre.