Trick shots are de riguer for billiards movies, ranging from the incredible (The Color of Money) to the preposterous (Equals Against Devils). But, I thought I was one-and-done with techno-gadget guided shots when I watched the lamentable 1990 Quantum Leap episode “Pool Hall Blues,” in which Dr. Beckett becomes an overnight billiards ace through the use of Al’s Handheld, a super-computer that can show the precise angle to hit every shot. Little did I realize that episode could trace its origins to the 1972 Mission: Impossible episode “Break!”
Like the Tom Cruise blockbusters of the same name, Mission: Impossible followed the exploits of a small team of secret agents (Impossible Missions Force) assigned to thwart dictators, evil organizations, and eventually crime lords. The series aired on CBS from 1966-1973. “Break!” was the opening episode of the series’ final seventh season.
In “Break!,” Jim Phelps (Peter Graves) must infiltrate a gambling ring to recover incriminating microfilm hidden in the wristwatch of a dead agent before the microfilm deteriorates. The plan requires Phelps to pose as a pool hustler, win the attention and confidence of Press Allen (Robert Conrad), the crime syndicate’s number two man, and then convince him to unwittingly turn against his own boss. The episode takes place in New Orleans, a frequent setting for billiards movies (see The Baltimore Bullet; Shooting Gallery; and the unfinished Ride the 9).
The plot has more holes than Mission: Impossible III, but that’s hardly the point. The real kicker is how Phelps can overnight develop pool shark prowess. That’s what tech wiz Barney (Greg Morris) enables in the form of an “inertial guidance system” hidden within a cue ball. As Barney explains, “[It’s] the same kind that’s used to keep missiles on course. Our missile: one cue ball. The other balls will be radioactively marked so they’ll show up on the control screen.” Then, from behind the curtain, Barney will help ‘guide’ the balls into the pockets. As he explains to Phelps, “The computer guidance could only give you a 5% edge. And deduct 5% from your opponent. Of course if you weren’t a pretty fair pool shooter yourself, we wouldn’t have a chance.”
So, in other words: swap out the real cue ball with the machine-guided cue ball, spread some radioactive lacquer on the remaining balls, mount your handy-dandy self-adhesive circuit board beneath the pool table (better not pick the wrong table), and cue Lalo Schifrin’s immortal theme song because, abracadabra, you’re performing 14-1 straight pool magic.
There is a lot of on-screen straight pool played in Break! But, as any experienced player knows, most those shots are neither the result of Graves’ expert ability nor of any ‘inertial guidance system.’ Rather, they are a series of two- and three-ball frozen carom shots that dazzle on screen, but are actually far harder to miss than to make, once a billiards technical advisor has done the initial off-camera set-up.
Break! is enjoyable largely because it’s absurd. After all, it’s one thing for Tom Cruise to repel down the side of the Burj Khalifa, the world’s largest building in the world, in Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. But, it’s quite another to achieve off-the-chart Earl Strickland ability levels through a radio-controlled cue ball. Now that is absurd!
Mission: Impossible – “Break!” is available to rent or buy online as part of the Season 7 collection.
