Tag Archives: billiards television

Billiards: More Than a Game, It’s a Game Show

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Earlier this year, English game show host Tom O’Connor sadly passed. One of the shows he hosted, though it never aired, was Pick Pockets, which paired traditional trivia with snooker and featured top players. 

Today, it’s beyond fanciful to imagine a game show dedicated to billiards. Especially in the US, no players are household names. Ask most people about billiards and they’ll stare confusedly at you. To my knowledge, Jeopardy! was the last game show to feature billiards. That was in 2014 with the elementary Pool Shots category.

But, while modern game shows have not been kind to billiards, TV game show history tells a more complicated story that echoes the rising and receding popularity of our favorite cue sport.

Ten-TwentyThe first billiards-themed game show was ABC’s Ten-Twenty, which aired in 1959 and lasted approximately 13 weeks. Conceived by billiards evangelist and promoter Frank Oliva, Ten-Twenty was intended to bring pool out of the murky pool halls. Quite the challenge as this was still two years before both the movie The Hustler popularized the sport and the brothers Jansco organized the first Johnston City Hustler Jamborees. 

Ten-Twenty pitted top players of the era, such as “Cowboy” Jimmy Moore and Irving “The Deacon” Crane, against one another in games compressed for 30-minute television watching intervals.  Though Ten-Twenty was hardly a national success, the fact it ever aired is downright impressive.

The first billiards tie-in that I could find occurred one year earlier, when World Straight Pool Champion Willie Mosconi appeared on To Tell the Truth in 1958. Mosconi subsequently appeared on I’ve Got a Secret (1962) and What’s My Line? (1962), in which celebrity panelists questioned contestants to determine their occupations. Perhaps, it was a harbinger of the future that none of the panelists successfully guessed Mosconi’s job.

Celebrity BilliardsOther billiards players similarly appeared on these celebrity panel shows, including a six-year-old Jean Balukas on I’ve Got a Secret in 1966, but the next big step in the billiards-themed medium was Minnesota Fats Hustles the Pros in 1967, followed by the more successful Celebrity Billiards with Minnesota Fats in 1968.  Fats, the quintessential showman and impresario, was the perfect host for a game show in which he entertained audiences by playing celebrities for charity. The game show ran for four seasons, and starred a who’s-who of the era’s A-listers.

But, by the early ‘70s, America’s appetite had waned. Indeed, it took 16 years before another billiards game show appeared. This time it was in the UK, where snooker was truly catching fire, as evidenced by 18 million TV viewers watching the 1985 World Snooker Championship. In 1984, the Stuart Hall hosted quiz show Pot the Question launched.  Contestants were paired up with a snooker player, and the points per question were determined by what the snooker player potted. 

Big Break - billiards game showSurprisingly, Pot the Question only lasted one season. The aforementioned Pick Pockets was the next attempt to cash in on snooker’s popularity, but that too failed.  It took a few more years before the BBC’s Big Break nailed the formula, launching by far the most popular billiards-themed game show, with 222 episodes across 11 seasons. 

Hosted by off-color comedian Jim Davidson and former snooker player John Virgo, Big Break paired three contestants with three professional snooker players in a series of rounds that combined trivia and snooker play. Many of the snooker giants of the era – e.g., Dennis Taylor, Jimmy White, Alex Higgins, Willie Thorne, and Allison Fisher — appeared on Big Break.

Beat the SharkBack in the US, billiards was back in the shadows. The sport had disappeared from game shows, with 2002 being the one outlier. That year, in the “Billiards for Gross Eats” episode of Fear Factor, contestants were given a cue ball to sink four balls in five shots. The missed balls had pictures of the gastronomic horrors they would have to eat.  In the “Beat the Shark” episode of Dog Eat Dog, a contestant competed against a billiards professional to sink four balls before he cleared two tables.  It didn’t help that the opponent was Dave “The Ginger Wizard” Pearson, who set the Guinness World Record by potting two consecutive racks of 15 pool balls in 82 seconds.

In 2005, what many hoped would provide an industry resurgence proved to be the final nail in the coffin. That game show was Ballbreakers. Executive produced by Mars Callahan, director of Poolhall Junkies, and featuring commentary by Ewa Mataya Laurance, the show consisted of contestants competing in 9-ball for a chance to win $20,000. Intended to be the “coolest pool show ever,” according to its creator, Ballbreakers was an unmitigated disaster, lasting only one season and proving there is no joy watching amateur players compete in 9-ball. 

Assuming Jeopardy! emerges from its current PR apocalypse and begin its 38th season, I have a suggestion – or more precisely, an answer — for whomever replaces Mike Richard as executive producer.  

This sport, often maligned and portrayed unfairly in popular culture, is overdue for some recognition.

Answer: What is Billiards?

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This article first appeared in BCA Insider, BCA Holiday Issue, November 1, 2021.

Pick Pockets

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I was not familiar with the English television presenter and comedian Tom O’Connor, who died from Parkinson’s about two months ago. But, an alert about his passing showed up in my news feed because in addition to hosting such popular British game shows as Crosswits, Name that Tune, and Password, he also hosted a snooker-themed game show called Pick Pockets.

What was this?

Of course, there have been snooker-themed game shows, such as Pot the Question from 1984 or the widely popular Big Break, which ran from 1991-2002, but this one had clearly eluded my research. Wikipedia lists over 500 British game shows, but there’s no mention of Pick Pockets.  Nor does it appear on the British Game Show Wiki, the website UK Game Shows, or searching the BBC. Yet, sure enough, there on YouTube, user gareth11077 had posted the pilot episode from 1988.  You can watch it here.

Fortunately, I was able to contact gareth11077, who I subsequently learned was Gareth McGinley, author of Heart Breaks: The Tony Knowles Story, and a self-described enthusiast and researcher of ‘80s snooker. Through my email exchange with him, as well as a separate email exchange with Trevor Chance, the creator of Pick Pockets (as well as the founder of Legends, Europe’s longest running live tribute show), I learned that the show I had watched was an untransmitted pilot, as the series actually never aired. The hope was to get it onto ITV, but the network’s commissioner at the time, Greg Dyke, allegedly had a particular dislike for snooker that not only left Pick Pockets homeless, but more important, signaled a “death knell of snooker on ITV, as well.”

According to Mr. Chance, Pick Pockets was inspired by a game of snooker he was playing (and was not influenced by its forbearer Pot the Question). Produced by Tyne Tees, the ITV television franchise for Northeast England, the show combined “the knowledge of our teams with the snooker skills of our guest professionals,” as Mr. O’Connor shared in his opening.

Pick Pockets had two competing teams, each pairing a local contestant with a celebrity. In the pilot episode, the celebrities were TV actor George Layton and English women’s cricket captain Rachel Heyhoe Flint. The teams, in turn, were each paired with a professional snooker player.  The episode’s two players were John Parrott, who one year later would lose the World Snooker Championship to Steve Davis, and the “Silver Fox” David Taylor, a familiar face in the ‘80s though after 1980 he never made it past the quarterfinals of the World Championship.  Completing the celebrity lineup was Len Ganley, the show’s “resident referee” and scorekeeper (who refereed four World Championships between 1983 and 1993).

(At the end of the episode, the audience is promised that next week’s episode – which was never made – would star Alex Higgins and Willie Throne, two true giants of the sport.  Oh well.)

Gameplay begins by each snooker player breaking their opponent’s rack. The 15 red balls have no value; they are obstacles to interfere with potting the colored balls and can be removed in the first round by each team correctly answering trivia questions, such as “how many toes does a rhinoceros have? (three) or “what is a jumbuck to an Australian?” (a sheep).

Once a ball is removed for each correct answer, round two begins. In this round, the players seek to pot the colored balls in order, while avoiding the remaining red balls. The pockets have different point values, and points are earned by a combination of answering a trivia question and potting the ball.  The team that has the most points advances to the third round.

In this final round, the non-celebrity contestant must answer six trivia questions. Each right answer earns his snooker-playing teammate 10 seconds to run a table consisting of the six colored balls. The player wants to leave as much time on the clock because once the table is run, the remaining time will be used to pot a single gold ball, which is worth 1000 pounds (or approximately $1700 USD in 1988).

While clearly dated through today’s viewing lens, the show was entertaining and had a certain imbued charm, principally due to Mr. O’Connor’s jovial banter. It’s a shame it never aired. Evidently, the ingredients were right, as Big Break proved only a few years later with a format that is uncannily similar to Pick Pockets.

Kiss of Death

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“There’s no such thing as bad publicity,” said PT Barnum, the mega-successful 19th century American showman and circus owner.

One has to wonder if that proverb weighed on the minds of Kiss of Death (KOD), the six-member women’s billiards team, who opted to star in Kiss of Death in 2010. The eponymous web series followed the women in the 12 weeks leading up to the May 2010 BCA Pool League National 8-Ball Championship, where they would compete in the Women’s Masters Team Division for the first time.

Presented by NYCgrind.com, a now defunct New York​-based online pool and billiards magazine, Kiss of Death was a series of weekly five-minute webisodes featuring members of the KOD team:  Alison Fischer (the editor of NYCgrind), “Queen B” Borana Andoni, Olga Gashcova, Michelle Li, Emily “The Billiard Bombshell” Duddy, and team captain Gail “g2” Glazebrook. Having won the Women’s Open Championship in 2009, KOD hoped not only history would repeat, but also that the lead-up to the tournament would make for engaging viewing.

Let’s start with the obvious: this web series was terrible.

I made it through the first four webisodes before I nodded off due to complete boredom. Judging from the number of views on YouTube, I’m probably not alone. (Episode 2 had 8,690 views. Episode 5 had just 1,737 views.) You can watch the first episode here.

Kiss of Death suffered from a fatal mix of lack of script and plot; an over-reliance on a single song for each episode; the in-your-face promotion of Poison Billiards; ridiculous montages of the women being cute for the camera; and an insufficient amount of enjoyable billiards. By episode 4, when half the time is spent watching the women watch themselves on episode 3 (oooh…how meta), I knew I would not make it through the remaining two thirds.

Apparently, the KOD women did not fare much better. The first place Women’s Masters Team prize of $3500 was won by Magoo’s Masters from Tulsa, Oklahoma.  Team Tick Tick Boom from Chicago took second, followed by team Logistically Challenge.

But, PT Barnum was onto something. While the web series was a bust, it most certainly sowed the seeds for a future wave of media and self-promotion, primarily focused on some of these same New York based female billiards players.

About 18 months after Kiss of Death, Gail Glazebrook teamed up with Jennifer “9mm” Barretta to launch Rack Starz. In partnership with Amsterdam Billiards, local home court to many of these women, Rack Starz featured a dozen “sexy intelligent women from all over the world brought together to take the game of pool out of the smoke-filled back room and into the mainstream limelight. The Rack Starz are not only athletes, but they are also moms, models, actresses, nutritionists, CEOs, and marketing analysts, with many holding advanced degrees.”[1]

The 12 members of Rack Starz featured the original six KOD members, plus Neslihan Gurel, Supadra Geronimo, Caroline Pao, Jennifer Barretta, Yomalin Feliz, and Liz Ford.

While RackStarz would fizzle out years later, the women successfully leveraged the early excitement and media attention to star in another web series, Sharks, in 2012.  This equally ill-fated series featured a number of the same women (i.e., Jennifer Barretta, Borana Andoni, Caroline Pao) portraying fictional ladies who hang out around Amsterdam Billiards.  Unfortunately, some enjoyable billiards scenes could not compensate for the series’ cheap production value, hackneyed soap opera dialogue, and paper-thin characters.

Maybe it didn’t matter.

The HustlersThree years later, two of the NYC women – Jennifer Barretta and Emily Duddy — skyrocketed past their niche web audience to that of mainstream television by starring in TruTV’s new pseudo-reality show The Hustlers about a group of pool players vying for the top spot on Steinway Billiards’ “The List.” Unfortunately, the show elicited strong reactions, many of them negative, from viewers, who found the premise and the characters preposterous.

TruTV opted not to renew The Hustlers. For a while, that decision appeared to mark the end of the NYC billiards women’s media run.

And yet, it did not.

In 2019, Emily Duddy was back, this time in the new Bravo series In a Man’s World, executive produced by Oscar winner Viola Davis.  Far more serious than any of the previous billiards incarnations, the “Emily” episode focused on exposing the sexism women experience every day through temporary gender transformation and hidden cameras. Ms. Duddy, in makeup and prosthetics, became Alex, a male pool player.  Jennifer Barretta came back on camera as friend and confidante. And the cartoonish Finnegan, most recently seen on The Hustlers, but even popping up way back when on Kiss of Death, was the uber-chauvinist who learns a thing or two about disparaging women.

I guess Kiss of Death wasn’t such a kiss of death after all.

[1]      https://www.newswire.com/news/rack-starz-launch-new-website-93762

Top 7 Billiards Companies Starring in TV and Movies

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It’s hard to overstate the financial impact of effective product placement in television and film. After Tom Cruise wore Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses in Risky Business, sales of the model increased from 18,000 to 4 million. Hershey saw a 65% increase in profits after a famous extraterrestrial took a liking to Reese’s Pieces in E.T. And Toy Story provided a 4500% boost to sales of Etch A Sketch immediately after the film’s release.

Regrettably, billiards manufacturers and artisans cannot point to similar successes. (In fact, probably the most famous billiards product placement was in The Color of Money when Vincent crowed about his Balabushka, but that was actually a Joss cue!)

But if pristine product placement has proved elusive, there are a handful of compelling examples of billiards industry makers who have “broken the first wall,” stepping out of the product shadows to become the star of their own episode, specifically television documentary and science reality series.  Here’s my list, from worst to best, of the Top 7 Billiards Companies Starring in TV and Movies.

  1. Falcon Cue Ltd. Seven slow minutes elapse before viewers of the low-budget How Its Made episode, “Air Filters, Billiard Cues, Ice Sculptures Suits,” learn that the cues getting assembled belong to Falcon, the Canadian cue company launched in the early 1990s. This lifeless 2005 episode plays like a high-school-made how-to video, with 15 separate steps detailed, from step one (use a circular donut-shaped lathe to turn a block of maple into a cylindrical cue butt) to step 15 (buff the cue stick). Fortunately for Falcon, step 12 addresses using a motorized stamping machine to apply the company logo.
  2. Thurston. The oldest snooker table manufacturer in the world, Thurston features in “The Bow, Ferrofluid, The Billiard Table” episode of Incredible Inventions from 2017. Viewers are walked through the step-by-step process of assembling a table, from selecting the timber and cutting the wood to ironing the table cloth and fitting the cushions.
  3. Albany-Hyatt Billiard Ball Company. Don Wildman, host of Mysteries at the Museum, searches museums for relics that “reveal the secrets of our past.” In the 2018 “Lunar Fender Bender, Opera Angels and Billiard Balls” episode, he travels to the Albany Institute of History and Art, which features a 140-year-old box of the Hyatt Company’s 16 balls. Though the company went out of business in 1986, it carries the name of John Wesley Hyatt, whose invention of the celluloid billiard ball to replace the ivory ball revitalized the industry (and saved a lot of elephants). The story of that invention, and the company that followed, is told in the episode through a mix of historian voice-overs and actor dramatizations. Fun fact: Hyatt’s original celluloid billiard ball almost failed when the sound it made hitting another ball was too similar to a gunshot. Saloon owners freaked and canceled purchases, forcing Hyatt to update his formula by adding camphor to the mix. The rest is billiards history.
  4. The Cuemaker - Billiards DocumentaryDana Paul Cues. Paul, a maker of pool cues and espresso tampers in upstate New York, is the star of Gary Chin’s short documentary, The Cuemaker. Mr. Chin, a film student at Ithaca College, is on the hunt for the perfect 19.5-oz jump break cue. His quest leads him to Mr. Paul, who is committed to “cue-making perfection” and shares, “I am not attached to [a] particular piece of wood…I’m attached to the idea that it will become, it not treasured, at least respected by you or maybe even your children.”
  5. Valley-Dynamo, Inc. In the world of coin-operated pool tables, Valley-Dynamo is a household name. Unsurprisingly, when the producers of Machines: How They Work wanted to tackle coin-operated tables, they turned to Valley-Dynamo. Airing on The Science Channel in 2016, the “Pool Tables, Gas Fired Boilers and Shopping Carts” episode combined photo-real CGI with factory footage to highlight the assembly of the dead rail, the mechanics of the coin recognition slot, and the interior “spider web of runways” that transport the balls.
  6. Chuck Jacobi, Best Billiards. In 2016, Jill Wagner, the perky host of Handcrafted America, traveled to New Jersey to learn how Mr. Jacobi, a former military contractor, makes his customized billiards tables. (Viewers may recognize Ms. Wagner as the former host of Wipeout or scantily clad on the pages of lad mags such as Stuff and FHM.) Airing on INSP, the “Woven Rugs, Sunglasses and Billiard Tables” episode from season one featured Mr. Jacobi assembling a frame, “ripping” the rails, creating inlays out of the keys of antique abandoned pianos, and converting a dining room table into a billiards table. His customized tables retail for $3000-$18,000, not including Ms. Wagner’s assistance routing the end piece.
  7. Richard Black Custom Cues. Back in 2005, the television series The Genuine Article answered its question, “Who makes the most beautiful pool cues?” by profiling Hall of Fame cuemaker Richard Black. On the “Puzzles and Pool Cues” episode, Mr. Black discusses his Antipodes cue, with 600 inlays and made from 16 different types of wood from 16 different countries. “Gentleman Jack” Colavita is also interviewed, unequivocally calling Mr. Black the best cue-maker.

So, for billiards companies thinking about how to optimize the return on spend from their marketing budget, it might be time to pursue a starring role on TV or in the movies.

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An abridged version of this article originally appeared in BCA Insider (Spring issue, May 2021)

The Goldbergs – “Bad Companions”

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In 1956, billiards was still relatively novel to most Jewish-Americans.  Consider some of the Jews who have made an indelible contribution on the sport.[i] Barry Berhrman, the founder of the prestigious U.S. Open 9-Ball Championship, had just turned 10. Billiards Congress of America Hall of Famer Mike Sigel, whose mother used to complain that he wouldn’t go to Hebrew school because he was too tired from playing pool, was just starting to walk up stairs unassisted. Pool Wars author Jay Helfert is one of the game’s great chroniclers, but at best, he was still a little ankle-biter at that time.

Then, it’s hardly surprising that the 1956 episode “Bad Companions” of the TV sitcom The Goldbergs might find humor in Uncle David (Eli Mintz), a nebbish who has purchased a pool table at an auction but not knowing how to play, enlists the help of some pool hall locals to teach him the game.[ii]

In fact, the bigger surprise might be that such a Jewish sitcom existed at all.  Sure enough, The Goldbergs, created in 1948 by radio star Gertrude Berg, was not only television’s first family sitcom, but also a show squarely and confidently about a Jewish family. Ms. Berg, the show’s writer, producer, and star actress, played the family matriarch, Molly Goldberg.

According to columnist Matthue Roth, Ms. Berg’s “vision of The Goldbergs, from which the show never deviated, was that of an everyday family with simple interactions, believable plots, and guided by a gentle humor. The episodes followed a predictable pattern–family members encounter problems, land in tight spots, and then turn to their familial matriarch to bail them out.”[1]

In “Bad Companions,” Uncle David’s new pool table, a “fabulous gift for the whole family,” becomes a bit of a headache, since his peers either don’t know how to play or aren’t permitted to play by their spouses. Justifying his unfamiliarity with billiards, the family patriarch, Jake (Robert H. Harris), says, “pool is a game that requires leisure, it’s not something you’re born with.”

Undeterred, David recruits a well-mannered gaggle of locals from the Friendly Nook pool hall, paying them to come to his house and teach him pool and promising to be the “best pupil [they] ever had.” While not exactly Machiavellian hustlers, the “professors” – Stosh, Big Louie, Little Louie, Cockeye Mike, and Snake Hip Nellie– show little interest in letting David practice; instead, they take advantage of his family’s hospitality, playing pool for free and delighting in a never-ending buffet of sandwiches and coffee. More attention is given to the composition of the sandwiches (e.g., “cheese on rye with mustard, not so much lettuce”) than to the mechanics of the billiards game.

Tensions start to run high among Uncle David’s family members who feel their magnanimity is being exploited, especially when some of the teachers start using the Goldberg’s phone to place horse racing bets. When Jake finally ejects Uncle David’s friends from his house, David goes down to the pool hall to make amends, only to unwittingly get ensnared in a raid. The judge releases David, calling him the “dupe of unsavory characters” and the product of a poor upbringing.

To show all is not lost, and to prove that Molly is hardly just a naïve sandwich-maker, the episode ends with Molly and David playing a game of pool. Like a pro, Molly announces her shot will “kiss the four ball off the nine and into the side pocket.” It’s a combination designed to impress, though discerning audiences will wonder why there is no sound of a ball falling in the pocket.

The Goldbergs may have had little impact on the future of billiards, but there is no question that Gertrude Berg was a true trailblazer.  Her inspiring comedic style earned her the first Best Actress Emmy in 1951, and laid the groundwork for future comedians, such as Lucille Ball, as well as the domestic family sitcom genre, creating a blueprint for subsequent shows like Leave It to Beaver and Father Knows Best.

Until very recently, “Bad Companions” was available to watch on Jewish Life Television (JLTV), the network founded in 2007 to promote Jewish-themed programming.

[1]      “Jewish Film: The Goldbergs,” by Matthue Roth.

[i]       While it’s hard to argue that “Boston Shorty” Morton Goldberg had an “indelible” influence on billiards, I’d be remiss if I did not give him a special shoutout. Boston Shorty was 40 years old when “Bad Companions” aired. By that time, he had already defeated legends such as Willie Mosconi, Ralph Greenley, Irving Crane, and Jimmie Caras. And, no, The Goldbergs was not named after Boston Shorty.

[ii]       The Goldbergs should not be confused with the currently-running, identically-named ABC sitcom The Goldbergs.

Table Plays – “The Waiting Game”

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In the arts, billiards and death are often interlocked.

“A Game of Pool,” the 1961 episode of The Twilight Zone, pits the best living pool player against the best dead pool player in a contest where the winner earns the title of greatest pool player ever, and the loser forfeits his life.

Two years later, in the poem “We Real Cool,” Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Gwendolyn Brooks tells the story of seven pool players at the Golden Shovel: “We Real cool. | We Left school. | We Lurk late. | We Strike straight. | We Sing sin. | We Thin gin. | We Jazz June. | We Die soon.”

The aptly-titled anime short film Death Billiards, created in 2013, focuses on two men who must compete for their lives in a game of pool. The gotcha is they’re both already dead and the match is to determine who is headed for heaven or hell.

Into this global smorgasbord of billiards macabre we should add “The Waiting Game,” a 30-minute television drama that aired in November 2008 on Maori Television in New Zealand. “The Waiting Game” was one-sixth of Table Plays, a grassroots series of low-budget dramas, funded by NZ On Air, that paired emerging writers with established directors, and relied on local crews, actors, and settings.

Written by Rebecca Tansley and directed by Anna Marbrook, “The Waiting Game” envisions purgatory as a one-table snooker room where two players compete.  The winner gets to live, the loser moves on. The episode focuses on a match between a distraught single mother (Eilish Moran), who has just arrived and refuses to believe her fate will be resolved by a snooker game, and a celebrated TV actor (Ben Farry), who is impatient to get back to his life.  But, a lot of conversation and soul-searching can occur over a game of snooker, and while the winner of the match may be obvious, the outcome is less so.

Due to the cramped locale and the tight ping-pong of dialogue among the two players, and the third character, a Purgatory rule enforcer-cum-maître d’ (Rima Te Wiata), “The Waiting Game” feels more like a one-act theater production than a television episode. And, while I wish the snooker-playing had been far more convincing, I appreciated the original storyline and its ability to create tension independent of the match.

But, I have to admit to a strong degree of bias, for a good degree of my viewing joy was attributable to the circuitous journey I had locating the episode and the most amiable and facilitative cast of individuals who contributed to my quest.

That search first began in early 2019 when I reached out the writer Ms. Tansley. Replying immediately, she shared that she did not have a copy of “The Waiting Game” but encouraged me to connect with Richard Thomas, the executive producer of Table Plays and a 30-year veteran of New Zealand television production.

Unable to reach Mr. Thomas, I put the search on the backburner for about a year until last April, when I attempted to find a different inroad, this time by contacting the New Zealand Film Commission. The people at NZFC could not have been friendlier, and while they too couldn’t connect me to Mr. Thomas, they did put me in touch with the director, Ms. Marbrook.

Ms. Marbrook graciously shared with me more history about “The Waiting Game” and then added that the master file had been sent to the local television station in Dunedin, New Zealand, as they did a subsequent airing of the full Table Plays series.

After some further on-the-ground sleuthing by Ms. Marbrook and Ms. Tansley, they encouraged me to reach out to 39 Southern Television, the local station formerly known as Dunedin Television and Channel 9. That prompt led me to connect with Luke Chapman, the Production Manager, who warmly recalled working on the show and the “clever script from Rebecca.” Mr. Chapman indicated he only had “The Waiting Game” on DVD. After ascertaining my intentions were good, Mr. Chapman agreed to convert the DVD into a format I could watch. Two months later, he published in the July 26 Otago Daily Times (which, in addition to 39 Southern Television, is owned by Allied Press) a link to the episode. You can now watch it here.

Thank you to everyone who helped me locate “The Waiting Game.” As was often written to me during the numerous email exchanges, kia ora tatou.

The Billiards Industry Needs Its Bobby Brady

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In 1966, at the age of just seven years old, a child pool prodigy named Jean Balukas appeared on the popular American panel game show, I’ve Got a Secret.  She befuddled the judges, who were unable to guess her “occupation.” The notion of a bambino billiards player was too outrageous to consider. 

The good news is Balukas was no flash in the pan. She became the youngest inductee into the Billiard Congress of America Hall of Fame, and she is widely considered one of the best players of the twentieth century. 

But, sadly, the judges’ incredulity that someone so young could excel in pool has proven to be eerily prescient. Billiards has struggled to generate interest or gain acceptance among children.  While it’s hard to find recent data, the National Sporting Goods Association’s 2013 study indicated that just 800,000 children (ages 7-11) had picked up a cue stick and they were half as likely to participate in billiards as the national population.  (By comparison, almost five times as many similarly-aged children participate in bowling.) 

With overall billiards participation in historical decline, the sport, tarnished by its pool hustling, barroom underbelly reputation, is in desperate need of new blood. The opportunity to start anew with a younger demographic is tantalizing. But, the question is how? 

The representation of pool in pop culture can move the popularity needle, as billiards cinephiles know well. After the release of The Hustler in 1961, sales of pool equipment skyrocketed and the number of pool halls in the US doubled. Similar spikes in interest occurred after The Color of Money was released in 1986. 

Brady Bunch - The HustlerUnfortunately, to the extent movies and television could ever be a bellwether for tween/teen billiards interest, the cultural pickings are slim.  Perhaps, the most famous child player on TV was Bobby Brady from The Brady Bunch. In “The Hustler” episode, Bobby is a disciple of the sport, practicing constantly, beating his brothers in nine ball, and predicting he will one day become “pool champ of the whole world.” Bobby dreams about pool, shooting while blindfolded and making famous trick shots, such as the six ball “Butterfly.” He even hustles his father’s work colleague out of 256 packs of chewing gum. For a fleeting moment, Bobby could have been his generation’s cultural pool avatar. But that was almost 50 years ago! 

Since that 1974 episode, I have surfaced just five TV episodes or movies that prominently feature kids playing pool.  In 1989, a 10-year old girl, who is actually a robot (!), shows her billiards excellence in “Minnesota Vicki” from Small Wonder. One year later, Stephen Urkel from Family Matters proved his mathematical genius could translate into billiards acumen in “Fast Eddie Winslow.” Then, in the 1996 “Student Court” episode of Saved by the Bell: New Class, high schooler Katie Patterson scored big with her trick shots. Fast forward another eight years and Drake Parker is a pool powerhouse in the “Pool Shark” episode of Drake & Josh. 

While these episodes may have garnered a few snickers, they did not have cultural resonance and certainly none had an impact on children’s billiards habits.  Incredibly, among movies, the landscape is even more barren; the only movie I could find that features a child player is the barely watchable 2020 film Walkaway Joe about a deadbeat dad and his 14-year-old pool-playing son, Dallas.  

In the New Year issue of BCA Insider, Daniel Bastone provided some great, tactical insights about how to appeal to younger customers. But, if billiards is truly going to have a sporting chance of gaining popularity among Generations Z and Alpha, then the industry needs to move beyond miniaturized pool tables or Ewa Laurance doing “how to teach billiards to kids” videos for parents. The sport needs a pop cultural makeover. The sport needs its next Bobby Brady. 

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This article was originally written for and printed in BCA Insider (November 1, 2020). 

Next Time, Don’t Skip Science: The Physics of Billiards

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As the 1959 animated short film Donald in Mathmagic Land taught us, billiards is a game of mathematics, specifically of angles.  Remembering that the angles of incidence and reflection are the same, or understanding the table’s diamond system, benefits a player greatly.

Every bit as important as the mathematics, however, is the science. The physics of billiards is critical to the game, as the sport is all about transferring energy from the cue ball to an object ball.  A player’s ability to leverage the two forces at work – linear momentum and angular momentum – separates the top athletes from the rest of the pack.

Think such wonkish topics don’t make for compelling entertainment? Think again. At least three different documentary television series have delved into the science to bring these concepts to life. Those series are Time Warp, Discover Science, and Outrageous Acts of Science.  Let’s dive in.

Time Warp

Time Warp, the oldest of the three series, first aired on the Discovery Chanel in the United States in March 2008.  The series features MIT scientist Jeff Lieberman and cameraman Matt Kearney using high-speed cameras to capture and slow down everyday events for the purpose of understanding the physics.

The first-season “Samurai Sword Master” episode (November, 2008) examines the physics behind various cue strokes made by billiards professional Liz Ford. (At the time, Ms. Ford was a top-ranked pro on the Women’s Professional Billiard Association tour. She has since retired from competitive pool to run the Green Mountain APA Pool League, as well as write articles for PoolDawg, a sponsor of my blog.)

The first shot is the break, examined at 170x slower than normal speed.  This is followed by her stop spin and massé shots.  The highlight is watching her backspin shot, “time-warped at 2000 frames/second,” which enables the viewer to see the cue ball rotate five times before finally retracing its path backwards. Even Ms. Ford seems impressed.  The full episode is available to watch here.

Discover Science

Discover Science is a DVD series from 2012 that focuses on “spectacular experiments to sharpen your sense of science.” Starting with the first episode that sought to explain how 500 eggs could support the weight of a 1700 pound camel, the series utilized a team of “Experiment Rangers” to lead the experiments through trial and error and ultimately demonstrate the physical laws of nature.

“Let’s Play Long Billiards,” the 11th episode in the series, seeks to answer the question “how long does force travel?” by shooting a cue ball into an ever-increasing number of billiards balls. Professional billiards player Hideaki Arita (currently ranked #52 in Japanese Professional Billiards Association) joins the experiment as the expert cue ball stroker.

The episode begins with the experiment of shooting a cue ball into 16-foot long consecutive line of 90 balls to see if the 90th ball moves. (Yes, it does, easily.) Subsequent experiments increase the ball count eventually to 630 balls (114 feet), with the final ball still successfully moving. While the episode is clearly aimed at a young demographic, “Let’s Play Long Billiards” does a great job of revealing how the slightest imperfections (e.g., two balls not completely touching) can cause problems with accuracy and the transfer of forward momentum.

Outrageous Acts of Science

The final series is Outrageous Acts of Science, a Science Channel program in the US that features professional scientists, mathematicians and engineers reviewing and explaining internet videos of homemade science experiment and stunts, often accompanied by warnings of “don’t try this at home.” Now in its tenth season, the series first aired in April 2013.

In January 2015, the third season kicked off with the episode “Fact of Fake?” that includes a jaw-dropping billiards trick shot in which the cue ball, starting at the left back corner pocket makes a near-parabolic path around a straight line of approximately 40 balls bisecting the table to then pocket a ball in the right back corner pocket. The episode can be watched here.[1]

While the shot stuns some of the series’ experts, billiards enthusiasts will instantly identify the shot as real because the shot-maker is none other than Florian “Venom” Kohler, perhaps the world’s top trick shot artist and the (current) owner of six Guinness world records related to billiards.  As Venom modestly says, “Why would I fake it when I can do it?”

But, even if we know it’s real, we appreciate the explanations from the episode’s experts, physicists Helen Arney and Saad Sarwana, who contrast how “us mortals just hit a ball straight, giving the ball forward linear momentum…but, Florian is giving it linear momentum and [a lot of] angular momentum, where he strikes the ball off-center to make it spin very fast.”

So the next time you start tuning out when the conversation turns to science, just remember in billiards it’s all about the physics (and the math).

[1]      A huge thank you to my professional colleague, Metis Chief Data Scientist Deborah Berebichez, who is one of the experts on Outrageous Acts of Science, for informing me about this episode.

Supernatural – “The Gamblers”

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I’m frequently troubled by the lack of respect for billiards in pop culture.  I’m not talking about the cheap fascination with pool hustlers, the overuse of ridiculous trick shots, or the inevitable pool hall brawl.  All of these tropes reveal a certain lack of imagination or wanton trafficking in caricatures, but not inherently disrespect.  No, my lament has to do with the regular disregard for, and misrepresentation, of the rules of the game and the skill it involves, as if accuracy and verisimilitude have no role in a billiards movie or television episode.  The latest malefactor: “The Gamblers” episode of Supernatural.

Supernatural - "The Gamblers"Maybe if this were some third-rate, bargain basement series on late-night cable, I might be more forgiving.  But, Supernatural, a dark fantasy television series that launched in 2005, is now the longest-running American live-action fantasy TV series. Supernatural follows two brothers as they hunt demons, ghosts, monsters, and other supernatural beings. Currently airing its fifteenth and final season, the series averages more than one million weekly viewers; has spawned 17 novels, several comic book series, and multiple TV and anime spinoffs; and has received 45 awards and 151 nominations.  To put it bluntly, this is a show that can afford to get it right.

Supernatural - "The Gamblers"“The Gamblers” episode, which aired on January 30, 2020, finds Sam Winchester (Jared Padalecki) and his brother Dean (Jensen Ackles) at an Alaskan bar named Lurlene’s, where people bet their luck in games of pool.[1] As one cashier describes it, “If you win, you come back lucky. But, no one ever does…it’s a pool hall that makes you lucky or might kill you.” As it turns out, the pool hall is run by Atrox Fortuna, aka the Roman goddess of luck, who explains that her kind were created by God to take the blame from mankind when things go wrong, so this bar is her form of payback.

The plot didn’t make much sense to me, but it’s the billiards, not the storyline, which is my gripe.  Let’s start with the first match of 8-ball between Dean and Fortuna, who responds favorably to Dean’s cringe-inducing hustler strategy, “If the fish aren’t biting, throw them a little chum.” The match is hardly nail-biting, with Dean clearing the table quickly.  His game-winning 8-ball shot involves banking the cue off the rail to sink the eight in the corner pocket closest to him. And while he does sink the ball, it’s only after an uncalled double-kiss that by standard bar pool rules would constitute a foul and therefore a loss of game.[2] But, in “The Gamblers” there is no acknowledgement of this faux pas.  It’s as if the rules didn’t matter.

The second transgression is far more egregious. Dean, having decided that the brothers “have to minimize risk, maximize profit…it’s like a Fast Eddie…from Dad’s favorite…Paul Newman, The Hustler,” decides that he will play one more match to up his luck and sets out to find his “Jackie Gleason.”[3] A cowboy named Joey 6 agrees to play Dean.  As the game gets down to the final balls, it appears Joey 6 has immobilized Dean behind an opposing ball such that he can’t pocket the 8-ball.  Making it double-or-nothing, Dean beats Joey 6 by performing a jump shot to win the game.  EXCEPT, it’s an illegal scoop jump shot, a blatant billiards violation that is ignored by the players, actors, script-writers and director. It’s the equivalent of scoring a touchdown and disregarding the pass interference, or overlooking goaltending, or allowing a batted puck to count as goal.  The net effect of this blind eye to official rules is that Joey 6 runs out of luck and effectively dies from lung cancer.  Imagine if the rules had been followed.

There is an early moment in “The Gamblers” when Dean says to Sam, “Pool…the game of champions, kings, my game, hell, our game…how many great memories do we have hustling pool?”  That prompted me to search the Supernatural archives, and sure enough, this was the third episode to feature the brothers playing billiards.  The first was in Season 4 (“I Know What You Did Last Sumer”) and the more recent was in Season 10 (“Inside Man”).

Supernatural - "The Gamblers"And, lest you think “The Gamblers” was a fluke, this disregard for the actual rules of pool was on display in the earlier seasons, too.  In this clip from “Inside Man,” Dean is again in full-hustle mode, this time to teach a lesson to some overconfident college kids.  But, as he prepares the table for 8-ball, he racks the balls incorrectly, putting two stripes in the corners.

While I may not be the target demographic for this series, my review comes down to a few superlatives: Supernatural is super disappointing and super inauthentic.

[1]      Fun fact: Lurlene is derived from Lurlei, and altered to Lorelei. In Germanic legend, Lorelei was a beautiful siren who sat upon a rock in the Rhine River and lured sailors to shipwreck and death.

[2]      I understand if they are playing APA rules then Dean’s shot would be permitted.  But, who’s kidding who? This is Lulerne’s in Alaska, not the 8-Ball World Championship.

[3]      This horribly forced reference to The Hustler makes no sense, given Fast Eddie loses to Minnesota Fats (Jackie Gleason) in their initial matchup.

Top 8 List of Billiards Players Promoting Products

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For professional athletes, product endorsements and commercial cameos are a part of the game and can translate to big dollars. This past year, tennis star Roger Federer received $86 million in endorsements – almost 12 times his earnings/winnings. Golfer Tiger Woods has raked in more than $1 billion (!!) in endorsements since 1996.[1]

For certain products, the linkage is obvious, such as Nike and Michael Jordan.  In billiards, think of Shane Van Boening and Cuetec Cues.  The affiliation between Florian Kohler and Ozone Billiards is so strong, he seemingly named his “Big O” trick shot after the billiards supply store.

But, on many occasions, the athletic celebrity involvement can feel a bit stretched. Why was racing driver Danica Patrick the best choice for Go Daddy, or why did the Little Tikes toy company tap all-star hoopster LeBron James? And, nothing compares to Pro Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Namath promoting Beautymist panty hose.

Professional billiards players are not immune to this corporate camera-mugging cameo. In the past 40 years, more than a handful of players have extended their personal brand beyond the standard billiard supplies. So, as you think about individuals to tap for endorsements, I present, from worst to best, my Top 8 List of Pro Billiards Players Promoting Products.

  1. Heinz Baked Beans. After watching first a child and then a teenage redhead spoon some beans, the final persona to finish out the carrot-topped trinity of eaters is snooker champion Steve Davis. So high was Mr. Davis’ Q-score in the late ‘80s that he did not even need to shoot billiards in this commercial.  Simply chalking his knife was sufficient.
  1. Cream Silk. In 2018, the Philippines #1 hair brand signed on Shanelle Lorraine to star in their mainstream hair care commercials. The rising star (“billiards champion” is a bit of a stretch), whose looks have attracted more attention than her game, brings “beauty and power,” in the form of loud shots, coupled with ever-flowing hair, to the red-felted table.
  1. Infiniti Q50 Eau Rogue. Expectations were high for Nissan’s luxury hot rod when it premiered at the 2014 Detroit Auto Show. The prototype appeared in a promotional video that pitted racing driver Sebastian Vettel against Pan Xiaoting, who won the 2007 WPA world championship. In the video, Xioting says she achieved the highest speeds of her life. Unfortunately, her involvement was not enough to save the Eau Rogue. It was cancelled the following year.
  1. San Miguel Pale Pilsen. This 2009 commercial may be in Tagalog, but you don’t need to understand it to instantly recognize world billiards champion Efren Reyes, who is joined by a trio of Filipino a-listers (boxer Manny Pacquiao, model Derek Ramsay, and actor/comedian Michael V). Beers, laughs, and a mystery bowl of peanuts follow.
  1. K-Boxing. They are never identified, and no billiards tables or paraphernalia appear in the commercial. But, there they are – world snooker champions Mark Selby and Judd Trump – posing, flexing, and leaping through the air in their K-Boxing attire. The 2012 campaign was part of the Chinese top-tier menswear manufacturer’s rollout of their “Snooker Brand Marketing Season,” which was designed to capitalize on the increasing appeal of snooker across China.
  1. Carling Black Label. In the 1970s and ‘80s, two of the world’s biggest names in snooker were Terry Griffiths and John Spencer. These rivals clashed often, but their most memorable match may have been when Gentleman John accidentally shot a ball into the nuts of the referee. When the “uncompromising” ref crushes the ball with his bare hand, the only solution considered to calm him is the leading lager with a “fuller flavor than any other.”
  1. 2011 Ford Explorer. “Does the rear seat fold flat?” That was the question being asked of the redesigned Ford Explorer. Who better to answer than the “Black Widow” Jeanette Lee, who brought her pool game to the back seat, breaking the balls and making a titillating cue-ball-into-stiletto-shoe combination.
  1. Miller Lite Beer. The grand poobah of this category is Miller Lite, with its 1978 and 1980 commercials starring Steve Mizerak. The original featured the Miz making a series of trick shots, then closing with, “you can work up a real good thirst even when you’re just showing off.” The 1980 follow-up includes a who’s-who of personalities, such as Bubba Smith, Mickey Rooney, and Rodney Dangerfield, all competing against the Miz.  But, he beats them handily, and leaving with actress Lee Meredith on his arm, says snarkily the key to his success is, “practice, practice, practice.”

Whether this list will make you rethink your product endorsement strategy is debatable, but it might make you reach for a Tuborg Gold courtesy of Ray Reardon.

 

This article first appeared in BCA Insider – BCA New Year Edition 2020.

[1]   “The World’s Highest Paid Athletes,” Forbes, June 11, 2019