Tag Archives: billiards movie

Gotham City Grind

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In film, sometimes the venue is the star. 

Meticulously selected, elegantly framed, perfectly lit, and cinematographically fine-tuned, the specific locale can be as memorable and essential as the actors, songs, script, or action.

Consider the old Ames Billiards Academy, a second-floor loft in the Claridge Hotel on West 44th in Times Square, that was home to the epic showdown between Fast Eddie Felson and Minnesota Fats in The Hustler. Or, the iconic, vintage Chris’s Billiards in Jefferson Park, Chicago, where Vince first duels with Grady Seasons in The Color of Money. For TruTV’s series The Hustlers, Steinway Billiards in Queens, New York, featured so prominently it was almost an hour-long advertisement. I don’t remember much about Penance except the awesome appearance of Top Shot Billiards in Alberta, where the movie was filmed in entirety.

Presumably, most venues would jump at the chance for this kind of product placement. But, when those starring roles don’t come knocking, there is always the last resort to create one’s own show. Such is the playbook Gotham City Billiards Club (GCBC) adopted in May 2016 when it launched the web series Gotham City Grind, featuring their Avenue U pool hall in Brooklyn as the homebase. 

Unfortunately, there are many good reasons why this path is not well-worn (e.g., cost, production value, lack of human interest, etc).  All of these reasons are on vivid display when one suffers through any of the four webisodes in the series.

Gotham City Grind opens with the voice-over, “This is not your average pool hall.  It may look like it, but Gotham City Billiards has an untold story, and our story begins with some of our usual players.” 

While the proclamation is well-intentioned, the series never actually tells the untold story.  Fine, whatever. The far greater gaffe is presuming that the “usual players” have a story that is interesting to anyone outside the pool hall’s doors. 

The first webisode, “Never Give Up,” focuses on Thomas Rice, a 17-year-old who turned to pool to counter his ADHD and struggles in school. Rice says, “I couldn’t focus in school and as soon as pool came into my life, it changed everything… started focusing better, winning tournaments, hanging out with the right kids not the wrong kids.” He then plays some nineball and prepares for an upcoming tournament.

That’s great, admirable even, but it’s hardly engaging video-watching. Maybe that’s why the webisode then abruptly shifts focus to Brooklyn denizen and actor William DeMeo, who is in town to promote his new film Back in the Day. (He was Jason Molinaro in seasons 5-6 of The Sopranos.) But, this is also a dead-end, an irrelevant cameo, unrelated to Thomas Rice, to GCBC, or even to billiards. We’re basically watching a pool hall promote itself promoting a straight-to-cable film that no one has heard of.

The second webisode, “American Dream,” is even worse; I found myself wistfully hoping for another D-list celebrity pop-up. Instead, we meet Koka Davladse from the Republic of Georgia. He is a “regular player with an infectious laugh” who came to America to study and play pool because “Georgia is dead, no tournaments, no payouts.” He has not seen his family in five years.

Awash with pathos, we then follow Koka’s storyline as it abruptly veers into a ten-round game of nineball against an opponent named Jerry T.  Koka wins, and the narrator rewards us with the platitude, “It takes courage and determination to follow your dreams. You have to want it bad enough. Most won’t even try, but whether you fail or succeed in the process, you have to believe in yourself.”

Stunned by such banality, I could not bring myself to watch the remaining two episodes, “Love for Pool” and “Legacy.” 

If you learn the untold story to GCBC, send it my way; otherwise, don’t waste your time grinding it out with Gotham City Grind.

 

The #FakeBilliardsMovies Global Conspiracy

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Nero faked his own death.  Tupac is alive. The earth is flat. Planet X will destroy us.

From the New World Order to the New England Patriots, we are awash in global conspiracies. It doesn’t take much “evidence” to make a small group apoplectic, obsessed that unseen puppeteers and power-brokers are rewiring the world in their special interests.

I’m not a conspirophile (though I, too, have a hard time explaining the launch of New Coke). But, I am increasingly concerned that there is a nefarious, multinational effort underway to discredit the sport of billiards by hawking its iconic imagery and idiom in #FakeBilliardsMovies. 

#NotABilliardsMovieI first wrote about this trend in 2017, when I identified 15 films that perpetuated this flimflam. (Public Pool Enemy No. 1?  The 9 Ball Diaries.) Now, five years later, this pandemic of promoting pool in non-billiards movies has reached preposterous proportions.  From Africa to Asia, from North to South America, the global film industry appears to be cashing in on this cinematic chicanery to entice wide-eyed watchers.

It must stop! No more can movie moguls double-down on such double-dealing. Join my cue sport crusade in outing this planetary panoply of #FakeBilliardsMovies!  Let the impersonator roll call begin! (All summaries are courtesy of IMDB.)

Aftermath

Hopes were high that I had uncovered the first billiards movie from Sri Lanka. But, Aftermath, the debut 2020 short film from director Navi Rafaelle, is about a professional group of thieves whose bank heist goes sideways.  P.S. to the Polo-wearing bank robber on the far left: don’t bring a cue stick to a gunfight. #FakeBilliardsMovies

90ML

90ML is a 2019 Telugu-language romcom from India about a man with fetal alcohol syndrome who needs to drink 90 milliliters of liquor three times a day to survive.  Like the circular reflection inside a gemstone, the poster’s assisted pool player aiming at nothing is a surefire sign of a sham. The Deccan Chronicle panned the movie, calling it a “bad drink.”  I call it a bad break for billiards. #FakeBilliardsMovies

 

The Devils: The Comeback

Originally titled El-shayatin: El-Awdah, this 2007 thriller from Egypt focuses on agent No. Zero, who must recruit his old team to stop a smuggling ring from stealing the treasures of Egypt. Apparently, this effort requires posturing around a pool table. No one notices that No. Zero is not who he says to be. I can only hope movie watchers see through this billiards ruse and realize it’s not what it appears to be either. #FakeBilliardsMovies

 

Where I Grow Old

To its credit, Marília Rocha’s 2016 Brazilian film, originally titled A Cidade onde Envelheço, racked up a number of awards and nominations.  The movie is about two young Portuguese women who try to put down roots in Brazil. They wrestle with questions of friendship, identity, and belonging; contrary to what the poster may have you believe, they do not wrestle with questions of billiards. #FakeBilliardsMovies

The Red Rope

Scholars believe billiards arrived in the Old West by the 1840s. While it’s historically accurate to show a cowboy with a cue stick in this 1937 Western, it’s technically treacherous to show him shooting at the one-ball, cueball nowhere to be found. That’s a red flag for The Red Rope. I sure hope the competing outlaws Rattler Haynes and Grant Brade fire guns better than they play pool.  #FakeBilliardsMovies

 

The Perfect Player

I can’t tell you much about the Nigerian movie The Perfect Player. The film is neither listed in the Nollywood Movie Database, nor in the IMDB profile of its star, Ray Emodi.  Search for it on YouTube, however, and there are several “seasons” of this movie, available to watch in entirety.  One thing I can tell you (after rapidly scrolling through all those full seasons): there’s no billiards! #FakeBilliardsMovies

The Continent

Director Han Han’s 2014 movie was no sleeper.  Grossing more than $100 million, the Chinese film wowed audiences in festivals across Canada, Japan, Singapore, Hong Kong and South Korea. But, for a movie that purports to be about three men going on a road trip to the Western most end of China who face “crises of love, friendship, and faith on their journey,” it’s a mystery why the poster focuses on billiards (or what happened to the other two men). #FakeBilliardsMovies

 

Carambola

I was so convinced that Ferdinando Baldi’s 1974 Italian film Carambola (and its 1975 sequel Carambola Filotto…Tutti in Buca) was a billiards movie that I purchased an enlargement of the poster for my basement. But, like countless other saps, I was snookered. Carambola has nothing to do with three-cushion carom, save for an early (albeit excellent) scene. The movie is about an ex-soldier, who happens to be a billiards champion, investigating arms trafficking across the U.S.-Mexican border.  #FakeBilliardsMovies

 

Diamonds are Brittle

This 1965 French film from Nicolas Gessner does not tread lightly on the baize. The lead character is a passionate billiards player, who decides to rob a bank to spice up his life. The movie’s original title, Un milliard dans un billard, translates to, “A billion in a pool table.” The movie’s posters – both French and Hungarian – use evocative billiards illustrations. Put all these elements together and it’s a cinematic combo that can cozen even the most discerning skeptic. Unfortunately, aside from a pool table with a secret compartment for conveniently hiding diamonds, it’s billiards bosh. #FakeBilliardsMovies

 

The New Adventures of the Elusive Avengers

Continuing the story of “The Elusive Avengers,” this 1968 Russian movie seems to have it all: a posse of young Red Partisans, including two orphan siblings; a fight with the White Guard; a secret map; agents in disguises; escape boats; intercepted airplanes; an ally with the wonderful name Bubba Castorsky; and – wait for it – a detonating pool ball. Somehow, with all those action and espionage elements, it’s the pool ball that makes it onto the movie poster.  Fal’shivyy bil’yardnyy fil’m! #FakeBilliardsMovies

 

Pasanga 2

Next to the US, the country most culpable for committing cinematic cue stick cons is India. Aside from the aforementioned 90ML, there is Raja Natwarlal, Beejam, Disco Raja, Tagaru, and Naanum Rowdy Dhaan. But, it’s Pasanga 2, a 2015 Indian Tamil-language film which focuses on the issue of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder amongst kids, that really gets in my craw. Children, my god! Aren’t there parental permissions or labor laws that prevent this kind of crookery? It’s no wonder the sport is losing its youth.  #FakeBilliardsMovies

Dead to the World

I will bring my jeremiad to a close with Freddie Hall’s 2018 UK short film, Dead to the World.  This “comedy” is about “three broken individuals trying to be better people, fight their basest instincts and hold on to their jobs.” But, there’s nothing funny about its appropriation of snooker. Maybe this poster is prophetic? A billiards bodement that forecasts the sports’ fate in film? #FakeBilliardsMovies

 

I don’t have the answers, only my global conspiracy theory, easy to ignore but hard to dispute. But, if this pool piracy doesn’t stop, then, to quote Mr. Hall, our sport may indeed become “dead to the world.”

Will you raise your cue stick in support? And, if not, will you at least join me in watching hundreds of legitimate billiards movies, TV episodes, and short films?  

Number One

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There are many reasons to praise Bob Geldof: founder/organizer of Band Aid and Live Aid; co-writer of the charity song “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”; lead singer of the Boomtown Rats; recipient of the Man of Peace award.

Starring in Number One is not one of those reasons.

Made initially for television, but released theatrically in England in 1984, Number One is a British snooker movie that is most often referenced for its star-studded cast, including Mr. Geldof as Harry “Flash” Gordon, a down-on-his-luck Irishman who begrudgingly pursues professional snooker as a means to turn around his life.

Other well-known cast members include two-time BAFTA TV Award nominee Alison Steadman, two-time Emmy nominee Alfred Molina, and two-time BAFTA Film Award nominee Ray Winstone. Also appearing are rocker Ian Dury, director Tony Scott (True Romance, Top Gun), and a host of snooker personalities, including commentator Ted Lowe, referee John Williams, and professional player Patsy Houlihan.

Rewind to the early ‘80s in the UK, and it’s not hard to imagine why there would be excitement around a snooker movie.  The BBC had been broadcasting Pot Black, a snooker tournament series, since 1969. The 1970s and 1980s produced some of the sport’s most iconic personalities, including Steve Davis, Ray Reardon, Alex “Hurricane” Higgins, “The Whirlwind” Jimmy White, “The Comeback Kid” Dennis Taylor, and Cliff “The Grinder” Thorburn. Their matches – and rivalries – were legendary, turning these individuals into national superstars and making snooker the number one televised sport in the UK (even more popular than football). It’s no wonder this golden era was the subsequent focus of the BBC documentary When Snooker Ruled the World, the TV series Gods of Snooker, and the movie The Rack Pack.

Number One taps into this snooker zeitgeist by focusing on “Flash” Gordon, whose wayward lifestyle has left him in trouble with a pair of crooked cops and in debt to some toughies. He’s a few days away from eviction, having recently had his car repossessed. Stealing from the prostitute next door only buys him so much time, especially when he blows the money in a poker game.  

Out of options, but blessed with natural snooker talent, Flash concedes to let the bookie Billy Evans, accompanied by his henchman Mike the Throat, manage him. This includes getting Flash into the professional snooker association and ultimately on the slate to compete in the World Snooker Championship at the Crucible. Billy cleans up Flash nicely, but he cannot change Flash’s penchant for cursing, heckling opponents, throwing cues, picking fights, and even, getting tossed in jail.

Flash’s antics, his cat-and-mouse relationship with the cops, and his contentious interactions with his manager culminate at the Crucible, where he – somehow, don’t ask me how – makes it to finals to play his nemesis Brad Brookie. I won’t give away the ending, but it certainly gives poor old Ted Lowe an ulcer, even if the spectators and fans love it.

Number One not only sought to capitalize on snooker fever, but also to mine it for inspiration, primarily by (loosely) basing Mr. Geldof’s character on the colorful, fast-shooting, trouble-attracting, real-life, Irish-born, bad boy Alex Higgins, whose off-the-table behavior was front page tabloid fodder.1 Furthermore, the Flash-Brookie competition was based on the early ‘80s rivalry between Mr. Higgins and Ray Reardon.2 (Mr. Higgins won the world title for a second time in 1982 after beating Mr. Reardon 18–15, with a 135 total clearance in the final frame.)

Unfortunately, Number One, much like its American billiards movie cousin The Baltimore Bullet, has all the right ingredients, but is a mess of a movie. The first half of the film moves at a glacial pace, pummeling the one-dimensional point  that Flash is a bit of a cad, liar, hustler and cheat, all rolled into one rather unlikable and untameable guy. The second half is more interesting, but is also preposterous. Flash’s meteoric ascent to the top snooker spot is risible. There’s no reason to believe he has such skills. Most of the film’s characters are paper-thin; much of the aforementioned talent is wasted; and the movie’s chauvinism reduces the only two women to background screamers or sexpots.

Apparently, the film was screened in Sheffield (where the Crucible is located) the night before the 1984 World Championship and attended by snooker journalists. They allegedly thought it was so bad that they laughed throughout and were too embarrassed to approach Mr. Geldof afterwards.3

Number One is available for DVD purchase.  It is not currently available to stream.

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  1. Interestingly, Mr. Higgins’ most scandalous and career-damaging act came a year after the release of Number One, when he headbutted a WPBSA official after being asked to take a drugs test.
  2. This was not the only Ray Reardon rivalry to reach the silver screen. Several years later, in 1987, the snooker musical Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire focused on Mr. Reardon’s rivalry with Jimmy White. Coincidentally, both Phil Daniels (who played Billy the Kid, who is based on Mr. White) and Alun Armstrong (who played the green baize vampire Maxwell Randall, who is based on Mr. Reardon aka “Dracula”) appear in supporting roles in Number One.
  3. Snooker Scene Blog: Playing Alex (July 28, 2010).

Toolsidas Junior

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Netflix Founder and Co-CEO Reed Hastings is bullish on the Indian market. At the end of 2019, he shared the company’s intent to invest $400 million in Indian content. Whether Netflix’s current financial setbacks will slow that investment is uncertain, but already the company has launched more than 90 original Indian titles. 

One of those titles, released this past May, is Toolsidas Junior, a snooker movie written and directed by Mridul Mahendra, and arguably the first full-length billiards movie to come out of Bollywood. It’s a feel-good, feels-long film about 13-year-old Midi (Varun Buddhadev), who seeks to avenge his father’s sixth and most recent loss at the 1994 Calcutta Sports Club Snooker Championship. 

Watching his father Toolsidas (Rajeev Kapoor) get humiliated by the “unbeatable” Jimmy Tandon (Dalip Tahil) stings all the more when Midi realizes that Jimmy intentionally preyed on his father’s dipsomania by plying him with liquor during a break in the match.

Unfortunately, it takes more than half the movie for that early epiphany to translate into action. After his initial attempts to learn snooker at an exclusive club hit a wall because his “feet don’t reach the floor” and he’ll “tear the (baize/felt) table,” Midi finds an available table at the Wellington YMC in the seedy, impoverished other side of town. 

There, he befriends Mohammad Salaam Bhia (Sanjay Dutt), the laconic ex-national snooker champion, whose daily snooker routine consists of alternating between hour-long naps and practices, while intimidated onlookers marvel in the background. 

Salaam Bhia finds Midi’s determination endearing, triggering an 11-month training routine, which consists of offering Midi cryptic aphorisms (e.g., “to see clearly, must befriend the darkness”) and juvenile appellations (e.g., the six colored balls are named Jaundice, Pinky, Blackie, Chocolate, Parrot, and Billoo) and admonitions (e.g., “the left hand is not used just to clean your butt”). Pop cultural references also play a role in Salaam Bhia’s regimen. Various forms of cue ball spin are analogized to the fighting styles of famous Indian action stars. For example, to hit topspin, think of Amitabh Bachchan, who always follows through on his punch.

For viewers who lament the paucity of snooker films over the past twenty years (Perfect Break, The Rack Pack, and Break notwithstanding), Toolsidas Junior will likely offer little consolation. The opening scene, with its meticulous attention to brushing, chalking, and ironing the baize before the match begins, suggests the film will devote lavish attention to billiards. But, while snooker is essential to the plot, the sport itself gets proportionally less on-camera time than one would expect. 

This is true even for the predictable ending at the 1995 championship, when Midi plays under the moniker Toolsidas Junior. The snooker sequences just don’t dazzle, though it’s difficult to begrudge the film, given it’s impossible not to root for the young cherubic underdog. 

Interestingly, Toolsidas Junior opens by saying the film is “inspired by true events,” though the closing credits clarify the film is at least semi-autobiographical for the director.  In an interview, Mr. Mahendra shared, “Snooker has been a very pivotal part of my life, especially because of the memories it beholds with my father. Toolsidas Junior depicts one of the most cherished parts of my life. I fought hard to bring my father glory back then and I wanted to do the same by making Toolsidas Junior.”

Alas, this odic film carries with it a sad epilogue. Mr. Mahendra had arranged a special screening of Toolsidas Junior for his real father and Rajiv Kapoor, who returned to acting after three decades to play Toolsidas. However, both men – the real father and the on-screen one – passed away in the same year before the film’s release.

Money Shot

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In 2016, during his final year at the New York Film Academy, director Tom Edwards created his 15-minute thesis film, Money Shot. The movie’s premise is simple: a virtual reality (VR) pool game addict (Liam) must exit the digital world and enter the real world to compete in a pool tournament to save the life of his brother (Nigel), who is indebted to a local drug lord. 

The all-or-nothing, do-or-die, billiards tournament is a familiar trope in billiards movies. From The Baron and the Kid to Stickmen, from Kiss Shot to Up Against the 8 Ball, down-and-out players have bet it all on the baize, hoping to avert bankruptcy, family dissolution, death, and all of the above.

Money Shot opens with Liam, who is frustrated that his Pure Pool VR gaming system no longer works since his roommate brother hasn’t paid the internet bill. Forced to emerge from his alt-reality, Liam can barely hold a conversation with his brother’s Tinder girlfriend, and he quickly retreats into blackness by re-donning his virtual headset.  But, when Liam learns that Nigel owes $3000 to a murderous kingpin, he throws away the VR goggles, picks up his cue stick, and heads to the local 8-ball tournament, with its $5000 grand prize, to hopefully pay off his brother’s bounty.

While the film’s camera work, editing, pacing, and use of music (“Uprising” by Muse) are quite effective, especially for a college senior, the overly convenient tournament, coupled with an uninspiring pool-playing montage (that focuses more on handshakes with fallen opponents than the strokes it took to beat them), should make Money Shot more of a table scratch in my billiards annals.

Yet, for all its overused elements, the film does pose a fascinating question that I have never encountered in almost ten years of reviewing billiards movies: does playing virtual pool make one a better real-life pool player?

Within online pool forums, the topic of virtual pool increasingly arises, starting with the verisimilitude of the leading games, such as Virtual Pool 4 (created by Celeris) or Shooterspool (created by EVEHO Ingeniería). Players share and debate the graphics, physics, and accuracy.

SportsBar VR

Less popular, but more germane to the game Liam is playing in Money Shot, are the virtual reality pool games, such as Maxi Pool Masters VR, Black Hole Pool, SportsBar VR, or the genre’s OG, PoolNation VR.  All of these games require hand controls and VR headsets (e.g., HTC Vive, Oculus Rift). As the user has no ability to physically lean on the table and line up shots, ambidextrous coordination is required to manipulate separate controls, a trigger button, and sometimes a “ghost reticle.” It’s hard to imagine mastering virtual reality pool, let alone the experience translating to the billiards hall.

Many billiards pundits and amateur players scoff at the question. They cite some plausible benefits (e.g., better understanding of angles, ball position, strategy), but otherwise deem the game largely untransferable since cue control and technique cannot be replicated. Yet, a recent study by two professors from San José State University suggests otherwise. Using the Pool Hall Pro video game, a Wii game console and a Wii game controller attached to a physical cue stick, participants were able to improve their performance on a variety of shots. The researchers concluded, “the video game system [with the haptic technology]  improved people’s real-life pool performance.”1

Regardless of the validity of the research, for the almost 400,000 of us who have watched snooker world champion Ronnie O’Sullivan try to use PoolNation VR back in 2016, the answer is likely to produce skepticism and guffaws.  (Sorry Ronnie, that looked like it hurt.) If Ronnie is falling over, what chance do the rest of us have?

Money Shot is available to watch on director Tom Edwards’ Vimeo site.

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  1. “How Haptic Feedback in a Mixed Reality Pool Game Affects Real-Life Pool Performance,” Elaine Thai and Anil R. Kumar, published in the Proceedings of the Human Factors and Ergonomics Society 2019 Annual Meeting.

The Day Lufberry Won It All

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In 2010, Roy C. Booth, a prolific writer of fiction, fantasy and horror, as well as a poet, journalist, and playwright with 57 published stage plays, turned his attention to movie directing and made the 20-minute short billiards film The Day Lufberry Won It All. 

Created on an estimated budget of $300, the movie feels like an amateur, inferior mash-up of the Australian dystopian billiards movie Hard Knuckle and the classic The Twilight Zone episode “A Game of Pool.” Hard Knuckle was pretty bad, and this is much worse; it’s not in the same universe as The Twilight Zone, but few billiards episodes are.

Yet, for all the terrible acting, stilted dialogue, and crude special effects, the film also feels wonderfully indifferent to its audience, as if it were not made to be watched by anyone but an exclusive group of scientifictionists and comic buffs (as well as local friends from Bemidji, Minnesota) who appreciate its literary code and are privy to its inside joke.

The Day Lufberry Won It All takes place ten years after an unspecified event “scorched the earth beyond recognition,” leaving the strong to inherit the planet and those without tradeable skills to perish.  Books are the new currency, reflecting a forgotten time. Across this bleak landscape walks Lufberry, a hippyish cross between Donald Sutherland and The Fonz. He can outrun a helmeted hooligan, negotiate with a lacrosse-stick wielding bandit, and refuse the seductions of the local streetwalkers. But, most important, he brandishes a cue stick. 

Lufberry’s peregrination takes him to a nameless basement bar, where he can trade two of his books for a chance to hustle pool. But, this is no Book of Eli. The unfamiliar books he offers include The Plea of Apollisian (about a child who “will be born to the fallen mistress of mercy”) by Shane Walker; Feminine Wiles (a 16-tale anthology of “ladies of darkness, women of horror, sisters of the night”) by John Grover; a book imprinted with a Heuer Publishing logo; and most important, The Monster Within Idea (a collection of stories about “monsters born of the human mind”) by R. Thomas Riley.

Here is where the encoded back slaps and head nods abound. For starters, one of the stories from The Monster Within Idea is “The Day Lufberry Won It All.” Mr. Riley also co-authored the novel Diaphanous with Mr. Booth.  And who better to leave a review of Diaphanous than Feminine Wiles author John Grover? Shane Walker writes the Abyss Walker series, which was expected to feature a forthcoming short story from Mr. Booth called “Privateer: The Maiden Voyage.” As for Heuer Publishing? They are a century-old publishing house serving the educational and community theater markets. Oh yeah, they also have published seven of Mr. Booth’s plays.

Moving beyond the choice book sampling, Mr. Riley also plays the aforementioned “helmeted hooligan,” who should not be confused with the “lacrosse bandit,” played by the director Mr. Booth. And if that’s not sufficiently familial, then keep an eye open for Mr. Booth’s wife and three children, all who also appear as part of the supporting cast!

Now, back at the bar, things get very weird as a nattily dressed patron named Garth Deon initially challenges Lufberry to a “race to five, alternate breaks on shots, no time limits, foul on all balls, one timeout per rack, with a one game sudden death tiebreaker.” But, Garth then suggests they spice it up by having the winner get the other’s “chi, neshamah, soul.” Garth talks in outdated slang, using phrases like “ain’t that groovy,” “joshing,” “easy peasy,” and “fair and square.” Lufberry seems unfazed by both the colloquialisms and the life-or-death wager, but awestruck by Garth’s “uncanny, uncommonly good” playing. I found that hard to swallow. The only thing uncanny is how bad is the pool-playing as well as the multiple unimaginative pool-pocketing montages.  

I won’t spoil the ending, but it involves the revelation that Garth Deon is an anagram of “THE DRAGON,” and there is a guy named Saint Michael who has a vested interest in the outcome of the match. 

Finally, I want to extend a huge thank you to Mitch Berntson, the producer and cinematographer of The Day Lufberry Won It All. After my attempts to locate the movie online failed, I reached out to Mr. Booth, who put me in touch with Mr. Berntson. He graciously offered to go through old drives to locate the film and burn a copy for me. 

Sixball

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If you’re not familiar with the rules of the Korean billiards game sixball, you’re not alone. It’s rarely mentioned as one of the standard variants of carom billiards, and even among Koreans, it takes a backseat to its far more popular cousin fourball.  In fact, until I stumbled across a decade-old post on AZ Billiards Forum about the game, I wasn’t sure it was real. But, while the rules may still be opaque to me, the game clearly exists, which makes Sixball, the latest entry into the billiards movie canon, all the more interesting and enjoyable.

Perhaps anticipating that movie viewers would be unfamiliar with the sport, the film opens with a voice-over overview of the rules (and what I can only imagine is a tip of the hat to Martin Scorsese, who used the same technique 36 years ago to describe nineball in the opening scene of The Color of Money.)

    1. First, memorize the point value of your card.
    2. Once each player’s card is set, the game begins. The goal is to use the six balls to make shots that continually lower your total points until you perfectly land on the point value of your card.
    3. When the first shot hits the black ball, and then collides with the other colored balls, each worth different points, points for the ball hit will be dropped.
    4. But, if you miss the black ball, of if you hit multiple colors in the same turn, then you lose your turn. Avoid these mistakes to keep dropping points.
    5. Your final point total has to match the points on your card. That’s the only way to win.

Released in May 2020, this South Korean feature-length film from director Chae Ki-jun focuses on Sung-hoon (Lee Dae-han), a one-time aspiring professional billiards player whose dreams were shattered (and hand was broken) after getting cheated in a game of sixball by the gangster Mr. Yong (Hong Dal-pyo).

Retired from the sport, Sung-hoon is eventually lured back to billiards by his friend, who promises him the opportunity to make easy money betting in doubles billiards. As the winnings come in, Sung-hoon attracts the attention of a local pool hall house manager, Ms. Kim (Kang Ye-bin), who recruits him to be part of her stable of players. Unbeknownst to Sung-hoon, Ms. Kim works for Mr. Yong. So, when Sung-hoon prioritizes a former love interest over an easy billiards mark, leaving Ms. Kim holding the debt, it is Mr. Yong who steps in seeking reparations. And it is Sung-yoon who finds himself with the perfect revenge opportunity, if he can survive his billiards match. The Korean trailer is available to watch here.

The plot is so formulaic it’s almost risible, but as someone who’s watched my share of straight-to-TV, 2AM, gangster revenge films, I’m not complaining. And Sixball makes a few bets that pay off.

First, Sixball is all about billiards. Sure, there’s a budding, uninteresting love story happening in the shadows, but the billiards is front and center.  The game of sixball bookends the film, while the middle is packed with straight rail carom billiards matches.  Since the sport is played on a pocketless table, the movie cannot rely on the standard flash of balls getting pocketed in rapid succession or multi-ball trick shots; instead, attention is paid to nuanced single shots in which the cue ball adroitly makes contact with the two object balls.

Sixball also succeeds in making the gangster Mr. Yong a truly memorable and brutal on-screen villain. If you still get shivers thinking about Le Chiffre punishing the testicles of James Bond in Casino Royale; if you shudder picturing Dr. Szell perform dental torture on Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man; if you get disturbing flashbacks of Derek Vinyard stomping an unsuspecting black man’s teeth into the pavement in American History X; then prepare to turn away as Mr. Yong performs a horrifying form of billiards torment on another sixball loser.  I’m still hearing the sound of teeth breaking.

The movie also layers on the voyeurism and fetishism of women, whose décolletage and skintight micro-skirts feature almost prominently as the billiards.  Most of this is for show, especially if it means our hormonal billiards studs may occasionally miss a shot as they are distracted by these pneumatic women. But, they are also portrayed as very capable billiards players; in fact, Sung-hoon’s final revenge requires convincing his love interest to pick up a cue stick once more.

Speaking of the climax, while there is never any doubt about the outcome of the final match, it is well-executed, including one jaw-dropper of a shot, and brings a satisfying conclusion both to Mr. Yong’s reign and to the film.

Sixball is available to stream for on AmazonPrime.

Top 10 Pool Players Playing Pool in Movies

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As this is my 200th blog post, I wanted to honor the men and women who aim to bring credibility to the billiards movie genre.  Of course, this objective is presumably shared by everyone. But, it’s the professional billiards players, who periodically pop up, or occasionally star, in the films and television shows that can bring real cred to the production.

Yes, many work their magic behind the camera as technical advisors, constructing shots and coaching actors on their stance and stroke.  But, it’s one thing to be off-camera; it’s a whole another to be the on-screen protagonist.  So, let’s tap our cue sticks as we countdown the Top 10 Pool Players Playing Pool in Movies.

Note: This list intentionally excludes those players who appeared on reality shows (e.g., The Hustlers; Sharks), game shows (e.g., Big Break; Ballbreakers), documentaries (e.g., Ronnie O’Sullivan – American Hustle), commercials, or pretty much any show that is not fictional and intended purely for entertainment. Moreover, in case it’s not obvious, this list is no way attempts to rank the actual movies; this is purely about the player’s portrayal.

  1. Second ChancePan Xiaoting. In the 2014 Taiwanese film Second Chance, the “Queen of Nine Ball” makes her debut film performance. Playing herself, this former WPA World Nine-ball champion is the final opponent for the film’s unlikely up-and-comer Hsieh Jen-hsiang, who decides the only way to save her pool hall is to compete in the New Century Women’s 9- Ball Championship for the multi-million dollar prize. This movie scores bonus points for additional cameos by “Duchess of Doom” Allison Fisher, “Little Devil Girl” Kim Ga-Young, Kelly Fisher, Jennifer “9mm” Barretta, Chieh-Yu Chou, Jasmin Ouschan, and Cha Yu-ram.
  1. HeartbreakEwa Mataya Laurance. One of the most highly visible players, “The Striking Viking” has won some of the top world championships; claimed top prize at the Women’s Trick Shot Challenge; appeared on the cover of The New York Times Magazine; and been inducted into the Billiard Congress of America Hall of Fame.  No wonder she made for a formidable final opponent in the 2019 film Heartbreak, even if the outcome of that movie’s Southeast Women’s 9-Ball Tour was both predictable and absurd. Extra points for cameos by Dawn Hopkins and Shanelle Loraine.
  1. Steve Davis. In the 1980s, no name was more associated with snooker than Steve Davis, who won six world titles and held the world number one ranking for seven consecutive seasons. By 2010, his name was less familiar, which is why casting him to promote the energy drink Thunder Muscle in multiple episodes of The Incredibly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret is so brilliant.  In the initial episode, Davis negotiates hard for a £50,000 endorsement deal. I wonder how that compares to what he earned in real life for promoting Heinz Baked Beans?
  1. Marcello Lotti. “The Dark One,” as Lotti was nicknamed by his fans, was one of the major pool players in 5-pin and 9-pin (also known as goriziana) from the mid-60s to the mid-80s. He won nine Italian titles, and then upped his international recognition by playing Scuro, the reigning goriziana player, in the billiards movies Io, Chiara e lo Scuro (1982) and Casablanca, Casablanca (1985). Fans of The Hustler will appreciate how Lotti’s character is modeled after Jackie Gleason’s Minnesota Fats in everything from his impeccable attire to his gentlemanly aura.
  1. The cast of The Baltimore Bullet. If there ever was a film that doubled-down on casting billiards professionals, it was Robert Ellis Miller’s 1980 flop The Baltimore Bullet. The prosaic plot is not worth repeating here. But, if spying pool players on film is your jam, then keep your eyes open for “Captain Hook” Mike Sigel, Willie Mosconi, “The Miz” Steve Mizerak, Jimmie “Pretty Boy Floyd” Mataya, “Machine Gun Lou” Butera, Irving “The Deacon” Crane, Allen Hopkins, Pete Margo, “Cool Cat” Ray Martin, Jim Rempe, and Richie Florence.
  1. Legend of the DragonJimmy White. By 1991, “The Hurricane” had won the Classic twice, the Grand Prix, the British Open, and the Canadian Masters; he had also been a runner-up to the World Snooker Championship on three separate occasions. So, it’s all the more amazing that 1991 also marked his film debut, playing the yakuza’s hired gun in the Stephen Chow film Legend of the Dragon. Director Danny Lee provides ample opportunity for White to show off his incredible masse, spin, and shot-making skills, culminating in a final match that combines billiards and karate-like aerodynamics. You’ll just have to watch it.
  1. The Color of MoneyKeith McCready. As Grady Seasons in The Color of Money, McCready uttered one of the most famous lines in billiards cinematic history as he runs the table on Tom Cruise’s character Vincent: “It’s like a nightmare, isn’t it? It just keeps getting worse and worse.” Known for his colorful, entertaining style of play, McCready, aka “Earthquake,” was selected for the role after the film’s director and casting director saw him engaged in a stakes game with Efren Reyes. Other players contributing to the movie’s authenticity include “The Professor” Grady Mathews, Steve Mizerak, and Jimmie Mataya.
  1. Willie Mosconi. “Mr. Pocket Billiards,” who was one of the first inductees into the BCA Hall of Fame, and who won the World Straight Pool Championship an unmatched fifteen times, only appears in The Hustler for just a few seconds, so be careful not to blink at the wrong time. In a match against Fast Eddie Felson, Minnesota Fats yells, “Willie, hold the stake money,” and there is the legend himself.  Lest that undermine his contribution, Mosconi was also Paul Newman’s technical advisor, paving the way for the greatest billiards movie ever to appear on the silver screen.
  1. 9-Ball with Jennifer Barretta - Billiards MovieJennifer Barretta. Making a cameo or having a bit role is one thing; headlining a film requires quite another set of skills. And while the 2012 movie 9-Ball failed to generate the enthusiasm that the APA, WPBA, and BCA had hoped, it certainly demonstrated that Barretta, with her on-screen comfort and movie-star looks, could carry a film. As Gail, Barretta shows the mettle of a pool prodigy determined to avoid the hustling lifestyle and become a legitimate, professional player. Allison Fisher and Jeanette “Black Widow” Lee also lend their star power to this film.
  1. Efren “Bata” Reyes. It is impossible to imagine this list ending with anyone other than “The Magician,” a winner of over 70 international titles and possibly the best player in the world. Somehow, amidst all those titles, Reyes also starred in the 2003 Filipino film Pakners about two men from different backgrounds who team up to win a billiards challenge. Other players showing off their strokes in the film include Marcus “Napoleon” Chamat and Bengt Jonasson. Reyes would later start in the 2007 short film Nineball.

In creating this list, I intentionally had to pass over many other players who have brought their pool prowess to films and television.  The following folks also deserve honorable mention:

Did I omit anyone?  Let me know by adding it to the comments!

Game

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My billiards short films pilgrimage has allowed me to crisscross the planet, from Alberta, Canada (Penance) to Australia (The Billiards Room); from Sweden (Biljardkundgen) to Argentina (Maltempo); from Brazil (Inglorious Billiards) to Japan (Death Billiards).  Yet, in all my cinematic searches and layovers over the past seven years, I had never unearthed a billiards film from any of the 54 countries within the African continent.

That is, until two months ago, when I stumbled across Game, a 2017 movie shot in Buea, Cameroon. The 28-minute short film stars and is written and directed by Cyril Nambangi, a Cameroonian filmmaker currently living in the United States.

Mr. Nambangi plays Marcus, an individual bored with his day job who understands that one can learn a lot about women and specifically their habits and vulnerabilities by reviewing their social media presence. Marcus is attracted to Fesse (Nsang Dilong), a woman he knows but has never engaged with. Realizing from her Facebook posts that she recently ended a relationship and now frequents a local pool hall, he intentionally stops by. When the pool hall’s reigning loud-mouth champion pompously beats her in a game of billiards, he seizes his chance to dethrone the champion and impress Fesse. The gambit works, as Marcus humiliates the champion with a deft jump shot in the first game and sinking the 8-ball on a one-handed break in the second game.  Fesse becomes immediately attracted, and the rest is history.

The social media stalking plot is a bit cringe worthy, and while there is a lot of pool-playing in the film, it’s filmed rather uninterestingly, with the exception of the aforementioned shots. I found the most enjoyable parts of the film were the close-ups on Buea nightlife, as the streets, cuisine, and energy made the movie feel wonderfully authentic.

But, sometimes, the appeal of a film can be magnified by knowing its origins. Such is the story behind the making of Game, as recounted to me during a Zoom interview with Mr. Nambangi. “Film making in Africa? You just have to adapt,” he explained teasingly.

Let’s start with the impetus for the movie. Mr. Nambangi shared, “I am an amateur pool player and film maker….I do know how to shoot pool, all the guys in the film are my friends still based in Cameroon.  Whenever we meet, there is a big competition, everyone thinks they are the best player… [I came up with] a story that ties into that, [so I didn’t] need to train actors how to play pool. I did it in reverse: I got pool players then trained them how to act.”

Armed with his idea and cast, the next question was where to film within the town of Buea. A local university provided an unoccupied performing arts space to Mr. Nambangi for one night only to convert into a pool hall, so long as he could outfit it with the necessary pool table and seating.

But in Buea, there are only two locations that have functional pool tables, and people are shooting on them around the clock because “pool is the club’s money maker.” One of those locations is a club managed by three brothers. Incredibly, Mr. Nambangi got approval from the middle brother to borrow the pool table and some matching stools for the evening, so he picked up the equipment in a rented truck and transported it to the university for the shoot.

Fesse (Nsang Dilong)

After filming wrapped at 2AM, three members of Mr. Nambangi’s crew attempted to return the pool table. But, when they arrived, a different manager was on duty and he claimed he knew nothing about the missing table and stools, so he called the police, assuming his club had been robbed. He had the crew members promptly arrested. It would take lawyers working through the twilight hours to get them out of jail.

Around the same time the crew members were getting arrested for returning the table, Mr. Nambangi’s trio of local actresses (“dressed in little minis for their scene”) were heading home in taxis. Mr. Nambangi recounted what happened next:

“As soon as they got out of the taxi, a black maria (i.e., a police van) came up, door swung open, two officers jumped out, and drove off with the girls bringing them to the police station. We went to the police station and were told they were dressed indecently.  But, [the officers] were just looking for some bribery money. They think, ‘Give me something and you can go home.’ The girls were terrified. If you don’t have someone to call, you’re screwed. That’s how it goes for you. The police will keep you there for a couple of days. And those are not conditions where you want to stay.”

Fortunately, Mr. Nambangi was able to grease some hands and get the women released, bringing his night of multiple arrests to a close.

The coda to the film’s production came much later once Mr. Nambangi had competed the film and was trying to get it included at festivals through submission to the now defunct Withoutabox. Out of the blue, he was contacted by Amazon Prime, which offered him the chance to have it featured exclusively within their platform. (Note: IMDB, a subsidiary of Amazon, acquired Withoutabox in 2008.) For a budding filmmaker, the opportunity was irresistible.

The experience has been mostly positive for Mr. Nambangi, though the decision has come with some tough sacrifices. He explains, “Amazon Prime is not available in Cameroon, so my friends could not see the movie, and once on Prime, I could not submit it to festivals.  Everyone who has participated has still not seen the project. I was planning to do a local premiere, but we have a war situation, so I’m not going back there now.”

While it may be some time before his colleagues can watch and appreciate Game, I hope those who do have access to Amazon Prime will spend the half-hour and watch it. The movie is available here.

Billiards Short Films Around the World (Part 2)

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Two Sundays ago, I spent a wonderful afternoon celebrating Father’s Day with my dad and my two children. Not having seen my father since COVID-19 unleashed hell on earth, the day got me thinking about this uniquely special filial relationship.

In my previous blog post, I committed to taking readers around the world with billiards short films. I started with Biljar (Croatia), Biljardkundgen (Sweden), and Penance (Canada). In this post, I continue that global odyssey, with the added nuance of featuring films that address that father-child relationship. Those three films are Maltempo (Argentina), Breakin Balls (USA) and Break (Czech Republic).

Interestingly, fathers do not physically appear in Maltempo or Breakin Balls, yet they are still central characters, reflecting the ongoing and treasured influence of the paterfamilias. In this way, these films are a welcome departure from better known billiards movies, such as the recent Walkaway Joe or The Baron and the Kid, where deadbeat dads feature so prominently.

Maltempo

Without question, the 21-minute Maltempo, released in October of 2016, is the best among this trinity of billiards short films.  The setting is Buenos Aires, Argentina, 1942. Two poor Italian immigrant brothers, Cecilio and Paolo Maltempo, have sold their deceased father’s pocket watch, their last remaining physical memory of him, in order to prevent starvation. Cecilio is hot-headed and irascible. Paolo is thoughtful and even-keeled, his temperament and sensibility more closely aligned with their father’s, as we learn through a backstory told by Paolo to illustrate his father’s kindness (and the watch’s origin).

One evening, the Maltempos are provoked by a pair of rich, insolent Frenchmen, who are now in possession of the prized pocket watch. For a chance to win back the watch, the Frenchmen challenge the brothers to a 30-point match of three-cushion billiards. When the match is 28-25, Paolo is dared to make a game-winning six-cushion shot.  Knowing he can make the shot, Paolo anticipates that his success will result in the Frenchmen’s humiliation. While the Maltempos will win the match, violence will ensue, blood will be shed, and they will lose in the long run. [SPOILER ALERT!] Instead, Paolo invokes his father’s spirit, intentionally just missing the shot so that his opponents can save face. His opponent ultimately understands and repays him by returning the watch.

Directed by Alan Borodvsky, Maltempo is wonderfully filmed and saturated with a gorgeous mix of yellows and browns that evoke the era and the beauty of the locale. Unsurprisingly, Maltempo racked up an impressive dozen awards from the festival circuit.  The full film is available to watch on Sofy TV.

Breakin Balls

To be clear, Breakin Balls is not a good film by any conventional measure. Created in 2016 by first-time writer, producer and leading actress Natalie Pagano, the film focuses on a struggling South Philadelphia couple who enter the St. Patty’s Pool Tournament at J.W Hothead’s, a (real-life) hair salon with a pool table. The stakes are a $2000 prize, which is just enough to save their trailer and feed the future Little Frankie, assuming they can beat their foes, the Sharkey Twins.

Between the amateur acting and the wooden dialogue, Breakin Balls feels like an inside joke that mistakenly escaped the room.  And yet, there is something rather heartfelt about the film. Ms. Pagano is upfront that Breakin Balls is a tribute to her father, Anthony Pagano Sr. (aka Mr. P). She says he was an “avid billiards player who was studied by many…had his hustling moments but good heart and kind mannerisms…I was very fortunate to grow up watching my father run balls, he taught me everything I know…this film is in your honor.”

He was also the creator of the “famous” jump rod, Mr. P’s Jumpstick, which features prominently in the film. When Natalie is down in her match, a sultry courier suddenly arrives, bearing the famed stick. This gives Natalie all the power she needs to turn around the match and win the prize, thus also honoring her father.

The final scene, in which all players, opponents, and Hothead’s patrons, convene at the Trailer Park Community Center to dance, giggle, jiggle, and eat billiards-themed cupcakes, shows just how much fun the cast had in making the movie, even if that sentiment can’t be shared by the viewing audience.

Break

Unlike the previous two films, Break is a much more traditional father-child movie. This eight-minute documentary, released in 2012 and directed by Tom Weir, follows 11-year-old Calvin Washburn, and his father, Geoff, who spend alternating weekends together shooting billiards. The movie is available to watch here.

As Geoff only has his son on weekends, and “the pool tournaments are on weekends, so that’s we do.” For the film, that means traveling to a 9-ball competition in Ostrava, Czech Republic, to compete for 4000 Euro (approximately $4500 USD).

The premise has potential. Calvin started shooting pool when he was five, and he comes across as a typical awkward tween who is super comfortable on the table.  But, as a film, Break flounders because there is no tension, suspense or drama. In eight minutes, we don’t get to know Calvin or Geoff or learn much of their relationship.  And, the pool-playing is a bust because after winning his first match, Calvin loses, and then loses again. He may have “pocketed quite a bit of money” over the years, but there’s no joy or interest watching a kid get mopped.

 

To my father, and to all the fathers out there, Happy (belated) Father’s Day.