Last week, I saw on CNN that actor Dustin Diamond had made headlines, and not for the right reasons. Mr. Diamond, who once played super-nerd Samuel “Screech” Powers on the sitcom Saved by the Bell and then on the some of the series’ spin-offs, had been found guilty of two misdemeanors relating to a Wisconsin bar fight and stabbing. Yes, this is the same Mr. Diamond who had almost been kicked off Celebrity Fit Club, released a sex tape (Screeched – Saved by the Smell), and got evicted from Celebrity Big Brother.
Wanting to remember Mr. Diamond in a more favorable light, I thought I would watch the billiards television episode, Saved by the Bell: The New Class – “Student Court.” Unfortunately, that proved even more grating than Screech’s horribly phocine voice.
That voice made its debut on Saved by the Bell, a lightweight, NBC sitcom that ran from 1989-1993 and featured a group of students and the principal of the fictitious Bayside High School. The series not only led to Mario Lopez eventually hosting Extra and Elizabeth Berkeley eventually licking a stripper pole in Showgirls, but also launched a series of spin-offs, including Saved by the Bell: The New Class.
The New Class ran from 1993-2000 and feature a rotating cast of students, including Mr. Diamond, who starred in six of the seven seasons. “Student Court” (September, 1996) is from the fourth season. In this episode, the high school principal creates the Rainy Day Inside Sports Festival, in which the victors win a weekend cruise to Catalina. The games include ping pong, darts, air hockey, and, of course, pool. Our gaggle of high-schoolers is determined to win, but to do so, they must remove the competition. In some instances, that means wielding their new appointments on the Student Court to mete out punishments to their opponents that effectively eliminate them. But, for billiards, they already have a secret weapon in Katie Peterson (Lindsey McKeon) who establishes her reputation when she calls and makes the shot, “3-ball, two banks, into the 4-ball, kiss the 8-ball, and in.”
The prospect of a trip to Catalina, however, leads Katie and her doubles partner, Nicky, to engage in some student hustling in order to earn sufficient cash to purchase some new swimwear. And while the ruse that they are “charging their fellow students for pool lessons” may fool a simpleton such as Screech, it doesn’t con Principal Belding (Dennis Haskins), who sends them to Student Court to receive their punishment.
As their friend chairs the Student Court, the misdemeanor could be dismissed, effectively increasing the group’s odds of winning the trip. But, given this is moralistic, saccharine, television, a true punishment is awarded, thereby killing the group’s chance at vacaying in Catalina, and presumably, also quashing Katie’s budding career as a pool hustler.
“Student Court” has bad acting, an imbecilic script, and dismal billiards-playing. Apparently, Mr. Diamond is not the only thing that needs some “saving,” though maybe his case would have fared better in the hands of this Student Court.
Saved by the Bell: The New Class – “Student Court” is available on DVD as part of Season 4.
