Based on posted reviews and garnered awards, you would be mighty foolish to visit Portland, Oregon, and not spend an evening dining and playing pool at the Uptown Billiards Club, located in the city’s Pearl District. The upscale restaurant-cum-pool-hall is rated 4.8 (out of 5) on Open Table, 4.6 (out of 5) on Facebook, and 4 (out of 5) on Yelp, and it has been recognized as a Top 100 “Fit For Foodies” restaurant, as well as a Top 10 restaurant in the Pearl District. Have you seen the Big Daddy Burger or the signature Bacon, Pear & Fontina Pizza? They look absolutely sumptuous, and don’t even get me started on the “themed” five course tasting menu…
Thus, it’s hard to imagine why the club’s owner, Kent Lewis, genuinely felt the need to go on the reality show Mystery Diners and spy on his newly hired “social media expert” to validate his usefulness. But, that’s exactly the premise of the “Behind the Eight Ball” episode, which aired in November 2014 as part of the series’ eighth season. The episode is available for purchase on YouTube.
Mystery Diners is yet another undercover reality show (e.g., Undercover Boss; Restaurant Stakeout) that covertly monitors employees at work. Airing on the Food Network and hosted by the wooden Charles Stiles, owner of Business Evaluation Services and Mystery Shopper Services, the series relishes the use of hidden cameras and microphones, and disguised actors, to learn first-hand what happens when the boss is away.
The series, which has about as much tension as Judge Judy, “has been accused of being both completely fake and scripted,” according to WaitWithUs. “Several people claiming to be involved with both Stiles’ companies and restaurants that have been featured on the show have come forward and stated that not everything broadcast on the series is real.” [1] And, in fact, each episode ends with a graphic stating, “Certain events may have been re-enacted for dramatic purposes.”
All of which brings us back to the proprietor’s curious decision to appear on Mystery Diners. As Mr. Lewis states, his challenge is trying to “change the perception of a pool hall,” as he cannot exactly “invest in marketing because upscale pool room is an oxymoron.” So, he hires Sonny, a “social media expert” to bring in new customers, but he requires Mr. Stiles to evaluate the return on his social media investment.
This is a little hard to swallow for several reasons. First, Uptown Billiards states prominently on their website: “We don’t pay advertisers or publicists to toot our horn, we believe in word-of-mouth.” Okay, not sure how that jibes with the decision to hire Sonny. Then, there is the not-so-complicated question of how to evaluate a social media expert, besides through elaborate reality television reconnaissance. How about Facebook likes? Instagram posts? It took me 15 minutes on these various sites to conclude Uptown Billiards has little social media presence. With 210 followers on Twitter (and that’s more than 2 years after the episode aired), I think it’s a safe call Sonny didn’t exactly excel at his job.
As the name suggests, Uptown Billiards not only has a mouth-watering menu, but also is home to 10 Brunswick pool tables: eight 4’x8’s and two tournament-sized in a private room. Ultimately, Sonny is undone by the printing and distribution of coupons to his friends to use these tables for free, all of which is captured on tape rather unconvincingly.
But, that “gotcha!” moment is far more credible than the cornball – and clearly staged – reveal of Bri, the new bartender, not only playing pool while she’s working, but gambling too. What’s more, Bri is apparently in cahoots with the drunkard she beat on the table. The secret camera shows Bri lining up a pigeon to get hustled, pretending to pour liquor into the drunkard’s glass, and receiving a pay-off. As Mr. Lewis line-reads, “I grew up in a pool hall and I’ve known hustlers my whole life. This [drunk guy at the table] is a hustler… [and Bri] is a shill…she’s the person who baits the person with the real money.”
Anyone who thinks this scene is real is probably deserving of a hustle. Bri clearly cannot shoot pool, as evidenced by her stance and the producer’s inability to capture a decent unedited shot. The tosspot at the table playing air guitar with his cue stick looks too drunk to dupe anyone. And there’s no reason for Bri to receive a payoff after each game. The roping should be an all-night affair, with a payoff at the end.
Sure enough, Bri is played by an actress, Bri Schreiber. The “Behind the Eight Ball” role is listed in on her website. Interestingly, her email includes the phrase “jimmistick,” which is a word for a sawed-off cue stick. So, perhaps Ms. Schreiber does have some pool DNA in her? And, more weirdly, her LinkedIn profile shows her as still working at Uptown Billiards…as a roulette dealer?!
In any event, regardless of the veracity of in “Behind the Eight Ball,” the episode seemed to have little impact on Uptown Billiards. There were no noticeable spikes in social media followers and no online reviews citing the episode as a reason for visiting. Even Mr. Lewis appears a little unenthused, judging from his Facebook post. Maybe that’s because he’ll forever be haunted by his closing words, “Thank you Charles for helping me rack up these hustlers and put them behind the eight ball.”
[1] Reality TV Fake! Food Network Show ‘Mystery Diners’ Caught Up In Scandal For Faking It
