In this latest segment of my global billiards cinematic peregrination, I traveled almost 17,000 miles across four different continents to watch four short films. But, this viewing expedition, while it surfaced some original perspectives on, and applications of, billiards in film, left me largely unsatisfied, especially compared to some of my previous jaunts. Let the journey begin, starting in South America.
Sinucada
I was looking forward to watching Sinucada, a 2018 Brazilian film created by 20-year-old Rafael Stadniki while he was studying cinema and advertising at Brasilia University. The movie’s poster looked fresh, and I thought the movie might provide a short lesson on sinuca brasileira, a Brazilian version of snooker, much like other international billiards films have educated me on the sport’s local variations. Unfortunately, the poster proved to be the film’s sole distinction, and there was no billiards lesson to be learned.
Sinucada begins with an early black-and-white promotional film reel introducing viewers to the University of Brazil, “the gem of Brazilian education… [where] the Academic Centers provide intrinsic activities such as conversation for tongue exchange, recreational herbs workshops, and sports competitions.” The two freshman protagonists, Kevin and Rafael, are eager to join an Academic Center, considered the social meccas of campus. Joining a Center, however, requires passing a test – specifically, defeating a senior in the Traditional Snooker Challenge.
It’s a promising set-up, but Sinucada spirals into stupidity once the Center doors open, the lame dialogue begins, and the snooker-playing commences. The Center looks like a middle school clubhouse, which may be appropriate given the acting. And the snooker bounces between lifeless and cockamamie, depending on whether one of the players is imbued with some supernatural force that enables him to pot balls. Sinucada is available to watch on YouTube.
The Hustle
The least original, but probably the most enjoyable, of the quartet is the 2013 Australian short film The Hustle, by first-time writer and director Topher Field. The seven-minute comedy stars Nikolai Nikolaeff as Troy, a quintessential pool hustler. Breaking the fourth wall, Mr. Nikolaeff begins the film by introducing the audience to the concept of a hustler (i.e., someone who is not “just the best pool player” but someone who “knows how to pick their targets, how to suck them in, and how to beat them”).
He then articulates, and executes, each of the “rules” of hustling, starting with “Plan your attack,” followed by, “Make contact,” “Lose,” and “Escalate.” This paint-by-numbers approach to hustling is pretty desperate writing, and makes you wonder if Mr. Field assumes his audience was born under a rock. Fortunately, The Hustle has a real twist (albeit an obvious one) that once revealed helps the audience realize they were not intended to be the real idiot of the film. The Hustle is available to watch on Vimeo.
The Hustle
Pool hustling is probably the most vulgarized trope in billiards films, so no wonder I found another film also titled The Hustle. Made by the Chicago-based husband and wife team David Tarleton and Adria Dawn, this four-minute film from 2019 focuses entirely on a confrontation between a broken man and the pool hustler who allegedly ruined his life.
A man is out $250,000, his wife left him, his daughter is not speaking to him, and his daughter’s college money is depleted. As they circle the pool table that separates them, the hustler (hunter) admits to some wrongdoing, and then proposes to the despondent man (prey) that they “play for it.” Since the broken man is “excellent at whupping [the hustler’s] ass in pool,” this seems like a great opportunity to even the score. Of course, the pool hustler’s smile at the end of the film portends a very different outcome. The Hustle is available to watch on YouTube, but be warned, there is no actual billiards in this film.
https://youtu.be/VuamMrSF6hM
Precision
Rounding out my film foursome is Precision, a very short 2010 Indian movie directed by Indranil Kashyap and shot entirely in black-and-white. Precision focuses on an underworld don who receives an unsolicited human trafficking deal from a rather anxious woman. Her inappropriate proposal and annoying mien so irritates the don and interrupts his private snooker game that he unflinchingly spears the woman in the mouth with his cue stick. Having muted (literally!) the woman’s proposal, the don’s lackey then finishes the ritual by shooting her dead.
The premise is gruesome and the action is unexpected, but it’s all undermined by a poor billiards set-up (i.e., sloppy rack, unconvincing break, bad shots) and an execution rendered ridiculous by the woman falling over dead before the gun is even fired. Precision is available to watch on YouTube.
