Ah, the “mockumentary,” that malleable film genre in which fictional events are presented in a documentary format as a form of parody. While dating back to at least the late ‘60s, the format became immensely popular when Rob Reiner released This is Spinal Tap in 1984. Ever since, topics of all niches, from Mormon boy-bands (Sons of Provo) and Dungeons & Dragons (Gamers: The Movie) to hairdressing (The Big Tease) and darts (Good Arrows) have been lampooned through mockumentaries, occasionally successfully (e.g., Best in Show; Borat; Man Bites Dog), but more often, terribly.
Unfortunately, 8 For Vegas, John Painz’s 2011 9-part web series about an NYC amateur pool league team, Show Your Balls, and its quest to win a trip to a national pool league tournament in Las Vegas, is one of the less successful mockumentaries in its un-funny portrayal of pool league players as vapid drunks, lecherous sloths, and one-dimensional sex-starved cardboard cut-outs.
According to Painz’s blog, the original script was written in 2002, and then it was dusted off and turned into a mockumentary ten years later after a little soul-searching and a desire to “get [his] name out there and at least have something to show people.” In his yen for authenticity, Painz made some questionable decisions to cast a number of people who obviously don’t play pool and to create “realism” through having the boom microphone get in the way and shaking the camera a lot, among other annoying auteur preferences.
Painz also explains that “one of the challenges of writing the script [is that] after a while, pool is BORING. Not, you know, watching pros and all… but when you have a 2 playing against another 2, and they take 2 hours to play two or three games, you pretty much want to kill yourself.” For this reason, he “made it a goal to make sure that the characters are what stood out in this project. Sure, you get to see some pool play. You have to. But the majority of it is really a comedy about friends getting together every week, and the things happening in their own lives, outside of pool.”
Now, call me cynical, but if he believes pool is that “boring,” it’s probably not the best topic for one’s coming out party, film opus. Moreover, if the series is really about the friends, then, good lord, why is this octet of losers so odious? You can meet each of them in the first episode show below, but here’ my rundown: (1) John, the team captain, who can’t get dates; (2) Walter, the lazy wannabe comedian who uses his iPhone to take upskirt pics of (3) his teammate, Jennifer, the “whore” who hates her ad copy job; (4) Ian, the super-gay guy who was once caught “trying to deep-throat a bratwurst”; (5) Leslie, the failed author who drinks constantly; (6) Nicole, who seems to puke constantly; (7) Heather, who wears shades, says nothing and knits; and (8) George, who we never meet because he’s in jail. Quite the posse, eh?
The first season of 8 For Vegas consists of 9 episodes, each 10-12 minutes long, that each represent one week in the team’s quest to win the city championship and go to Las Vegas. Most the episodes focus on a particular character, followed by 1-2 minutes of pretty bad eight-ball, shot on location at Society Billiards & Bar in Manhattan, against teams, such as Stroke This, Ball Breakers, and Stick It In. I won’t give away the ending, but the team does it make it to the city championship, after winning the division finals against Balls to the Wall…but not before most the team had zogged out on Xanax.
You can watch the entire first season on YouTube. Amazingly, there was also a second season that wrapped in March, 2013.
